I'm Not Sure If I Was Raped But It's Bothering Me.

[Ekoj]

I like the idea of getting medical checks, just to be safe.

As a ptsd sufferer who has been raped while roofied, I also know that it's easy for me to get myself pretty distressed with the unknowns or what happened but (IME) assuming the worst is not helpful.

Be gentle with yourself while you wait for the test results, and then go from there when hopefully they've given you some answers. As scary as it is, right now is the time for patience, not panic. It's very possible that nothing untoward happened, so let's wait and see:)

 

[Rafagac]

I just kinda want some opinions because I know most times I very paranoid about these kinds of things

You asked for opinions, and you got opinions. It's irrelevant that you didn't like one of those opinions, because that's all it is -- an opinion. I have a hard time understanding why you seem so angry. No one is attacking you. I didn't say you weren't raped; I said judging by your account of the incident, there was nothing to indicate that you were definitely raped. Shoes in their room? Doesn't mean rape. The guy trying to kiss you? Makes him sleazy, not a rapist. Discharge? Could be any number of things, not necessarily ejaculate. You also mentioned numerous times in your post that you tend to be "paranoid" about these things.

Only later -- after your original post -- did you mention anything about physically feeling as if you'd been raped. If that is true, and you woke up feeling raw down there or something, or just otherwise feeling like you'd been violated, then yes, of course, go see a doctor.

But I maintain my original comment -- you seem to very clearly have a problem with alcohol. You said you were drunk during each of your rapes -- you clearly need to stop drinking, and if you can't you need to see someone about alcohol dependency.

 

[Azoce]

Honestly, I don't really see why you think you were raped. There were other explanations for your shoes being in the roo...

That does not make her an alcoholic. That's rediculous. I have had semen come out two days later I've even called the doctor about it thinking I was pregnant (I was a teenager). So yes that can happen. But....you can't say that anything happened because frankly you don't really know. Just move on and honey no more alcohol for you

 

[Ode]

Drinking on occasion doesn't make somebody an alcoholic. Good. Lord.

 

[Igu]

Yeah I knew something was off when I woke up I tried to ignore that feeling but as the day went on I became more and more...

You and only you know what happened that evening! We here can all try and help and not harm you further, period. And if you believe that you were indeed raped, if this guy seems like he is high risk for STD's and your mind and body are telling you that he raped you, I would definitely get checked.

Also, when in this forum did we become so (under anonymity) pious and judgmental? When? Please tell me when? For if the few above (only a few) not all were not cloaked right now in anonymity I will bet you a million dollars if I had it that you would not talk to this young woman in this cold, judgmental, and verbally abusive manner. Just sayin' and please don't forget what goes around - well it sho do come back around. Karma is a big B! A few above sound like a wolf pack chewing on a bone! Really! Where's your compassion that has been shown to you in this forum? Hmmm?

We are not able to give decisive conclusive diagnoses on whether or not this woman has been raped or not, now are we? No. Precious one, I to use to use alcohol, drug, whatever to numb myself around people, places, etc. And no one can say whether you were raped or not. Only you. Have you thought of seeking therapy for what happened to you? Just a thought. Please know that the members here that posted rational, caring, and honest (w/o ripping you nearly to shreds) and I honestly do care about what happened to you. Know this.

 

[Guwonaj]

To the OP - this forum is anonymous for users, but not for Administrators.

Your personal attacks have been edited....

So glad to be told that forum rules still apply here in anonymous postings. So good to know.

 

[Igag]

Drinking on occasion certainly doesn't make someone an alcoholic. But if someone is repeatedly raped while drunk.... and that person continues to drink despite that? Yeah that's a pretty big sign of a drinking problem. If the OP had not mentioned that she was drunk every time she was raped, I wouldn't think she has a drinking problem. But there's a pattern here, and for her she seems to get victimized when she drinks. Which means she needs to stop.

I only mentioned it because when I read that, that was what stood out to me -- the role of alcohol here. Again, that doesn't mean she wasn't raped, just that she needs to quit drinking, and if she's continued drinking after the first two rapes while drunk ... maybe she needs some help quitting.

 

[Voti]

Drinking on occasion certainly doesn't make someone an alcoholic. But if someone is repeatedly raped while drunk.... and...

Alcohol is but a symptom of drinking problems. It is not the problem. There are definitely underlying issues when I use to drink to excess then literally black out and not remember what went on during drunken black out. For ex: why was I (me) drinking to excess; and what was I not able to or unwilling to deal with that I allowed myself to drink to excess, then black out.

Again drinking is but a symptom of the disease of alcoholism.

 

[Suco]

Alcohol is but a symptom of drinking problems. It is not the problem. There are definitely underlying issues when I use...

That is NOT why the OP is here. It sounds to me like you are judging her more than trying to help.

 

[Owice]

I don't mean it as a judgment. I mean it as someone who has been raped repeatedly herself because of alcohol. It's a very dangerous cycle. Yes, there are probably underlying issues for the drinking -- one of which is probably the previous rapes. And yes, it's completely normal and okay to drink from time to time. But if you are losing control when you drink and blacking out ... and getting raped ... the biggest problem seems to be that you continue to drink. I think it's much more helpful to point that out to the OP and urge her to avoid alcohol than to mollycoddle her and tell her what she wants to hear.

 

[Izo]

I don't mean it as a judgment. I mean it as someone who has been raped repeatedly herself because of alcohol. It's a ver...

You're blaming the alcohol for her being raped and not the rapist? That makes sense

 

[Vetaho]

I wasn't aware that placing blame was a requirement to express my opinion about the situation. I also don't know where you're getting the idea that I'm "blaming the alcohol." But it seems we're getting off track here. The OP said she wanted opinions about whether she was raped; she noted that she is often "paranoid" about this and that she was drunk for two previous rapes.

The role of alcohol in her situation stood out to me -- and I said so. That's all. I didn't blame her or the alcohol; I said it seems she needs to quit drinking and has a problem, given that she's been raped twice while drunk. Alcohol abuse is very common among rape victims, and it often leads to their further victimization, which is what my point is in this thread.

You also seem to be jumping to conclusions that the guy in her story was definitely a rapist -- the OP herself expressed uncertainty as to whether that was the case and said she might just be "paranoid."

I'm not sure why this thread has turned into such a mess or why there is so much anger about me saying she needs to quit drinking and seems to have a drinking problem. I made it very clear that that is merely my opinion, as someone with experience in that area.