The entire thread is interesting (and so are all of the points of view about an almost entirely closed subject- rape and the feeling of a person being violated). Even though I have previously posted here, people (by their own interpretations of the words and not necessarily by interpreting what was said correctly) have a tendency to pervert what was said, implied, or what someone else interpreted what someone else said or anything that wasn't said.
I agree that the woman needs help. I don't think the woman asked to be raped or that the woman was helpless and never said anything of the sort. I merely stated that using alcohol is a bad idea and makes any person (especially a woman like the person who claims she was in the situation she was in- for perhaps another time or two). Saying an opinion is stating what could be a very good truth (and it should not be misinterpreted or perverted). I did say get help and that I wish her well. I showed her the different kinds of "help" and the fact that some of that "help" could hurt her more.
In my view, doing all you can to eliminate the possibility of being vulnerable is a really great idea (still while respecting the sensitivity of the issue at hand and without discounting her telling of her experiences). The world is a hard, harsh, violent place and human life (and the sense of innocence) is really extremely fragile. When any one gets violated in some way, as human beings, our perception changes. Many people who post here are victims of violent crime, trauma, war, and other kinds of abuse who have in some way been violated.
By the way, we have a duty to make sure we avoid being vulnerable to avoid being proclaimed a potential target because if we contribute to someone's temptation to be brutal or victimize us and an event like this happens, we are responsible ourselves for contributing to the temptation. That's why I leave money in a closed pocket some place and not hanging out on some dresser drawer in plain sight- the helps prevent those tempted to steal from stealing and makes them work a lot harder to steal or rob it if they are going to commit that crime. So, suggesting deterrents to avoid crime and victimization is good advice.
One more thing, subduing someone with "roofies", choloroform, or other drugs to commit a rape and combining that as a mixture to alcohol is really a more subtle form of force but it is still force because most people are being subdued by being drugged against their will. In addition to that, a gun or knife or weapon may not be used since only chemistry is involved, but it is more insidious also because the use of chemistry means to deliberately take advantage of another is also a manipulation of the mind on a much deeper level. These kinds of things can take a much longer time to recover from than a person using deliberate force without chemistry (which is another form of manipulation on a different level that a person can recover from quickly because it was something that happened that they know for sure was way out of their control). Chemical force like that is intentional because it is really another great form of one person gaining total control over another against the victim's will and drugging someone to do it.
Having said that, nix the alcohol and the more than likely eliminates or greatly reduces the likelihood of that subtle force by chemistry being used and greatly minimizes temptation for others to commit an offense. Most men have a tendency to try to control women and get them to "knuckle under" to them as though it's their right. That's unfortunate. Women deserved to be lifted up, respected, and loved. After all, they are people too.
People should continue to come to the site to report what's going on and get help. I would synthesize the information here- that is, sort out the good from the bad. No fear here. Use the good and dump the bad.
As another true belief, more drunk women are raped than sober women. Alcohol increases a woman's chance of getting raped by four times more likely than a sober woman.
I hope the OP gets help, nixes the alcohol, and understands all of the information imparted followed by using the good stuff and ditching the bad.
Sincerely,
The Snowy Owl.
