this kind of pressure sends me rushing down the proverbial rabbit hole more surely than any of the curve balls life throws at me. relieving the pressure is absolute top priority for my own stress management. if i allow it to escalate, it infects every aspect of my life, both business and personal.if I don't meet this deadline which seems beyond my capability timewise, it will be game over for me...
Don’t commit crimes that will have you put in prison or put to death in most countries… probably covers most of it?I'm ruining my life and I don't know how not to do that.
Well... to be fair: I am not in my country.Is, worst case scenario, your next few months are f*cked. (Homeless, jobless, hungry.).
Wow! Respect for still making it! It does really feel like the end of the world. As someone who never moved apartments even until I was 18, it does seem like one of the scariest things I can imagine, short of my trauma. But I can't think of that yet. There's more work to do before I have to think about that... I hope/pray.I'm homeless and I thought it'll be the end of the world. I prepared to live on the streets. Actually I seeked out to live on the streets but I found support and a decent shelter. It's not perfect but could be worse. I'm on disability allowance now and in college (for free; in fact, I'll soon get paid because of going to college).
Thank you for this! Catastrophasing is definitely something I do. I have been afraid multiple times in my life and informally I have deduced that the more I have been afraid of something, the less likely it has been that a) it happens as catastrophally as I feared b) I have coped aleveything this far even as it hasn't been always fun. Thanks for reminding us that most of the catastrophising occurs on things that we can't deal with today. Because if we could deal with right away, we would and be done with it.Epic catastrophising!
Not homeless today. Not starving today. It’s actually a work deadline that’s causing the panic, yeah? The closer it gets, the bigger the panic gets. The bigger the other problems get (even though they haven’t actually changed today).
I think most of us have our own favourite cognitive distortion that our brains looooove to pull out and flood us with when things are particularly stressful. Once this work project is done, it may be worthwhile tackling that cognitive distortion head on - my own experience is that the pattern will keep repeating until that issue is dealt with.
There are ways to overcome being crippled by cognitive distortions. And definitely worthwhile, because this won’t be the last time that a cognitive distortion turns your whole world on end.
Which isn’t me saying you have nothing to be stressed about. Or that your life is easy. But the things that your brain is turning into catastrophes haven’t happened today, and aren’t things that you can actually even deal with today.
The problem with cognitive distortions is they very successfully create incredibly devastating inner experiences irrespective of whether the external situation is or isn’t problematic, and prevent us from actually getting on with the things we need to do to keep us on track.
I’ve been homeless. It was shit. But it isn’t what you are dealing with today. When your brain decides to pick up the “homeless and broke” grenade? Notice, and make the choice to put it back down so you can get on with here and now.
Thank you for the reminder, actually. It helped for a moment. I feel so shaky and wobbly. It's stupid, but you can really get yourself wrapped up in fear if you think something really bad will happen in a few days and you think- well, few days, what will that change... And it gets so bad you can't function. I've been in waves of it ever since the actual talk last week when I was in danger of being evicted... there was a brief relief when I wasn't (yet) and then it hit me again.Not homeless today. Not starving today. It’s actually a work deadline that’s causing the panic, yeah? The closer it gets, the bigger the panic gets. The bigger the other problems get (even though they haven’t actually changed today).
Thing is I know this pattern, it has happened before, only... I thought I solved it. I really did. I thought I figured out the reason I do it, so it won't happen anymore- and since my situation is worse practically, now this is making it worse than ever.my own experience is that the pattern will keep repeating until that issue is dealt with.
I know, I do that! Yet, being aware is weirdly not helping me.... Neither is the immobilizing fear preventing me from being able to cope better and have to push to work every piece I actually manage....Epic catastrophising!
In my own experience you befriend the feeling rather than fight it. CBT may help and then mindfulness: "of course I'm scared. It is because I care". This may alleviate the pressure and let you return to work.Thing is I know this pattern, it has happened before, only... I thought I solved it. I really did. I thought I figured out the reason I do it, so it won't happen anymore- and since my situation is worse practically, now this is making it worse than ever.
How do I fight that feeling?
I like the sentence. I will continue using it as the anxiety comes today.This may alleviate the pressure and let you return to work.
My advice is to go all in on your work. Block out all distractions. If you feel overwhelmed, use some breathing exercises (4 seconds in, 4 seconds pause, 6 seconds out, 4 seconds pause) - focus on the out breath. Do this a few times then resume work. Don't forget to take a break if you see that the output of your effort is diminishing. 5 minutes break can invigorate and keep you going.For today I'm trying the one thing at a time deal. Sadly work is still too slow for what I wish it could be, but if I can work late into the night and from early morning tomorrow I have a shot. Not sure if in this state I can do that. Somewhere I have printed CBT sheets I'll try to utilize. Is there an android app maybe good for that? I'm bad with 0 cash, I'm fighting the urge of pawning my one new-ish useful electronic(phone) and it won't even be for that much. I'll keep fighting it.