I'm the girl people always see alone

[Punky143]

Always been more reserved, but still able to have what I thought was meaningful relationships. But now, I'm the girl you always see alone. Not because I'm mean, or selfish. I've been hurt too many times by those I thought loved me like family. I've trusted too many and my heart broke every time. I'm shy. At least this part. What people don't know is I'd be a very good friend if so many things weren't going on. In my head that is. I wish someone would notice me, the sad, alone girl you see

 

[Finding Maeve]

Always been more reserved, but still able to have what I thought was meaningful relationships. But now...

Same here. Ditto. Everything you said.

 

[FireSign8]

I think many people "notice" you on this forum. Yet, they don't respond as much as I would expect due to having that "PTSD kinship". Perhaps having the DID in addition throws some people for a loop & they just don't say anything to you for fear of miscommunication? I honestly can't answer for other people...as for myself, I have a special place in my heart for a "friend" who also used the name of Punky & she seemed to share a lot of the same personality traits that you talk about in this forum. She is much older now, so I realize you are not the same person. Yet, I often feel like I am talking to her!:wideeyed:

So, I have to admit that I sometimes stop myself & delete my answers/comments to you when I realize I am projecting a negative feeling or just being a bit mean with my wording, because I spent years hating my Punky for the things I thought she did to me & the broken trust issues that took place many years ago between the two of us. There were drugs involved. Then there was a crime. Then there was jail. I hated her for what I thought she had done to me. I now know I was very wrong about her. She actually saved me from a bad situation & I never got to tell her that!

I also know that by communicating with you, that I have done a lot of healing. So, you have done a lot of good that you just didn't know about until today! I tell you this because you do matter to me & I know you are a different Punky than the one I once knew...I am also a different person now than I was yesterday. Shy is just another way to say reserved in my world. I am also a reserved person when I'm out in public. I have grown to enjoy my oneness with nature. People are often just a bump in the road for me & I have driven over a few of them as I was trying to avoid them. They just kept coming back & for a person like me, it was an invitation for drama. I keep to myself to avoid that drama. I now enjoy mellow. I feel a "kinship":hug: for you because I see a lot of my pain in your words. Happy I posted this & got it off my mind!

 

[Punky143]

I think many people "notice" you on this forum. Yet, they don't respond as much as I would expect du...

Your so welcome❤I didn't think I mattered much to anyone. That's due in part I keep to myself and I too love nature and especially the animals. We as in most of the parts that makes up the "me" no longer trust anyone despite their reassurance. Don't know, maybe we're just different and how we know the world works, or doesn't? Stay in touch