Interesting Technique My Therapist Wants To Use...

[Lotis]

Yep. The first time I met her, she got me to explain the events and flashbacks. :/ I felt so uncomfortable. I really wish I had just spoken up about this. She kept prodding me for more details. There wasn't really any cooling down period, there was a bit of an abrupt ending.

A good trauma therapist will NEVER push someone beyond their comfort level when it comes to talking to trauma. It sounds like yours did and that would be a red flag for me.

~L

 

[The Albatross]

Way back in the mid 70's when I was a very troubled teen and before it likely had a name, my counselor, my head counselor and a psychology teacher would employ this with me in high school because I was high risk and the ongoing violence in our home.

In my case, I was a minor, had no coping skills but agreed to send a request whenever I needed to for my counselor. He would have the difficult task of navigating me in full melt down mode as I told him what happened. A couple hours later, I would get a pass from the head counselor... who would repeat the process as I told again what had happened. Thereafter, I would get another pass or after school appointment with the Psychology teacher... and for the third time told him what had happened.

It didn't take very long for even me with no coping skills, in an ongoing violent domestic environment to learn that if I was able to verbalize what had happened three times the repeated exposure of the event would lessen. However, this arrangement stayed in place from the onset in end of Sophomore year through my Junior year graduation a year early AND the three with my principal were emphatic with my parents about the need for me to be at school or in after school program activities and even summer school - they concertedly maneuvered in as much as possible to keep me in a safer environment than my home.

I was able to leave home and become independent shortly after high school and by then the worst of the violence was over as my parents divorced.

Not exactly the same thing, but similar to what the opening poster's therapist suggested.

 

[katyjane]

That's good advice @joeylittle. I appreciate your opinion. I've been researching various self help books, have just bought one on self esteem (The 6 Pillars). I'm sorry to keep asking questions, but do you have any more advice to push me in the right direction?
I want to try and learn how to be able to support myself, learn to change my unhealthy coping mechanisms, and self stabilise like you have said. December is approaching and I need to be prepared for three trauma anniversaries. Last year I had to take myself to the ER as I felt so unsafe and couldn't cope with the flashbacks. I need to be stronger.
I love reading, and have done some self CBT in the past. I have heard about DBT as well, so will research and try and find some sort of workbook/ way of doing it. I really like Buddhist philosophy it's based upon, which sort of inspired me to start reading the Tao Te Ching. Is there anything else anyone can think of, please let me know.

@VioletButterfly - Thank you. I am sorry to hear about all the re-traumatising you went through. You make a great point about listening to your intuition.

@Lotis - I am glad I let her go now. I cannot afford to give up essentials for a therapist I do not feel safe with. I am on the hunt for another one, this time I have a load of questions to ask/ almost interview *them* to see if they're the right kind for me.

@Lola Nocheprieta - I feel so much more informed after coming on here! You reminded me I had a notebook I wrote last year with grounding techniques I have fished out, thank you. I definitely have a lot of work to do regarding symptom management. I feel a bit overwhelmed as I have created more problems using unhealthy coping mechanisms. I am totally exhausted but am determined to make this work.
I have definitely learnt an important lesson for future therapists.. Always respect boundaries and go at your own pace! I'm on the hunt for a new therapist, but will definitely hold back till I have that same kind of trust you do with yours.

 

[Lola Nocheprieta]

almosf interview *them* to see if they're the right kind for me.

That's absolutely right, @katyjane! Think about what you're looking for in a therapist, as well as what you want to avoid, and develop a list of questions. You could probably ask many of them over the phone, or ask to have a 30-minute "consultation" session. Many people do this and it should not seem odd to the T, especially if you explain that you had a negative experience before.

Good for you!