DID Internal conversations but not diagnosed did?

[lostforgottensoul]

AFAIK voice hearers often experience the voices to have personalities and being more dimensional than a sound / commenter on qualities of the person hearing them (or more often their faults) as well.

Well, I can say whatever these "voices" are in my head (whether it be normal thinking or something else) they do have a personality or sorts. I say of sorts as, I think, they aren't fully different. I think what i see as different personalities may just be different emotions that, for whatever reason, I can't allow myself to feel?

I say all that to say that I can tell the difference bettween them by the emotions. The scared child hiding. The angry/always rageful bigger/much older one that is always angry and seems to scare me much of the time. The one that orders out punishment.

The inner critc though I know we all have one of those. Always critical of myself as well as others. The one that is always critical of what others do and think.

And then the one I picture as a librian type. The always rational one. The one always trying to make sense of everything...including things that make no sense.

I can see how these are all parts of me. It just feels super weird how they feel so seperated from me. Almost like they have a life of their own. And when they all talk at once (if I can make sense of any of it) the angey one terrifies the child one. The rational one is always trying to rationalize why the angey one is angry and the child one is always hiding and scared. And then the inner critic is critisizing them all which makes the angry one more angry which then scares the hidden child even more and the inner critic is critisizing more and the rational one rationalizing more. And on goes the cycle of loudness.

I know I am very seperated from my past and maybe this is my seperation from the emotions? I say that because I cannot feel early emotions unless the child one "lets me". Anger is my go to, I think, because its the loudest. Rational thought isn't possible if I am angry or feeling early emotions. And then the inner critic is always going. I just wonder if they feel so seperated because of being seperated from emotions.

Maybe I gave them their own personalities to make sense of it? I'm not sure.