Irrational Fears

[Arctic]

Hi there

To a non ptsd person with a non distorted view on thing my fears are completely irrational. However to me they are justified as they are trauma memories. My trauma. That cripples me with fear. I realise now that other people aren't scared of what I am because its my trauma and they haven't experienced what I have. Now I feel bad for being scared of what I am beacuse others have no fear of things I fear.


I always maintain if you had been through what I did the tauma and fears make sense. That they are ok. They so control my life. To the point now I am terrified to leave the house.


Maybe a break from therapy would be good for me? Or am I avoiding dealing with the things I avoid?

 

[maddog]

Hi Arctic. I think that a healthy way of looking at this is to remember that fear itself is never irrational. Fear is an instinctual survival mechanism that is adaptive because it is designed to help us escape from danger and to stay alive. Fear develops in response to us internalising danger and coming to understand that certain things in the world are dangerous. For many trauma survivors, the world is, or was at some time, full of much more danger than for most people. Anything associated with that time of danger can become an object of fear, and rationality plays no part in the development of those associations.

Society has taught us about the things that so-called normal people should be afraid of, and those things that we shouldn't. Society doesn't take trauma into account, and so suddenly we're left being indirectly invalidated by the fact that our fears are considered irrational, just because other people don't have them. All that really means is that we've been exposed to more and different dangers than most people have, and we're just doing what everyone does,and trying to survive.

Maybe it's just me, but sometimes I find it helps to remind myself of these facts, to help me understand that I'm not as defective and different asI feel when I think about the fact that I am afraid of idling cars, or the smell of diesel, or the sound of dragging chains...

I know that the process of therapy and all of its uncovering and exploration of trauma can reach the point of feeling overwhelming. I doubt there is a sufferer out there who hasn't questioned whether it's all getting too much, or whether the therapy is actually making things worse not better... and while everyone's journey is different, I think it's a case of coming to understand that it will likely get worse before it gets better, and staying connected to a positive therapeutic relationship, if that's what you have, is difficult but critical to moving forward.

Hang in there Arctic... it will get better...

Maddog

 

[Arctic]

You are a smart one Maddog- thank you for your insight. I've dug at it and I realise it's going to be an up and down ride, today is an UP day (yeah!). I need to remember days like today when I have the " i didnt get out of bed for 3 days last week" days.

 

[maddog]

Oh, me too Arctic, it's so hard to hold onto the up times when you feel as though the down times are overwhelming, but we have to, hang onto them tight and remember them most when we least feel we can. Somehow, eventually, the good days start to outnumber the bad days, and that's what we just have to keep working towards.

Hope today is an up day too!

MD