Chryblsmsunrise
Not Active
Hello everyone,
I have a situation I'd like some input on. I'm an auntie to the cutest little niece. Been there for her since day 1. She's now 6. We used to go over all the time, always been close, and lately had been keeping in touch through Skype...but recently I've ignored her calls because I felt the following events were stressful to deal with so I avoided the situation all together:
This past month:
- My sister has shown her true colors, especially lately. She is a copy of my father, who abused me physically and emotionally my entire childhood. She triggers me constantly. It's been so hard to remain even friends but I did it for the kid.
- Sister found out her husband was cheating with someone who is on probation for an assault charge.
- Then sister beat my niece so bad that my brother in law filed charges against her.(wasn't there, haven't been around them bc of pandemic, only skype)
- When I was told it happened, I wanted to call her right away and comfort her and help. But I was told by my brother to not bring it up at all. I wasn't allowed to be there for him. He's always been controlling and munipulative.
When I say they're both toxic I mean they always say things to bring me down, mock me, be little my successes, ignore boudaries I've set, try and push family members away.
Thing is, I think I'd be happier not having my sister and brother in law in my circle, so that way I'm not triggered, boundaries don't constantly get pushed, I could leave my past behind a little more. Leave more room for happiness.
But what about my niece?
I want to be there for her but have been dealing with her parents toxicity for too long now.
If I just wanted to keep them all out of my circle...is that okay? This would include not talking to my niece anymore. I know I'd be hurting my niece's feelings. I feel so guilty because she's very attached as I am to her but I'm ready to get off her parent's rollercoasters.
Hope this made sense. I've had a headache on and off for a bit.
Thank you for any advice or insight.
I have a situation I'd like some input on. I'm an auntie to the cutest little niece. Been there for her since day 1. She's now 6. We used to go over all the time, always been close, and lately had been keeping in touch through Skype...but recently I've ignored her calls because I felt the following events were stressful to deal with so I avoided the situation all together:
This past month:
- My sister has shown her true colors, especially lately. She is a copy of my father, who abused me physically and emotionally my entire childhood. She triggers me constantly. It's been so hard to remain even friends but I did it for the kid.
- Sister found out her husband was cheating with someone who is on probation for an assault charge.
- Then sister beat my niece so bad that my brother in law filed charges against her.(wasn't there, haven't been around them bc of pandemic, only skype)
- When I was told it happened, I wanted to call her right away and comfort her and help. But I was told by my brother to not bring it up at all. I wasn't allowed to be there for him. He's always been controlling and munipulative.
When I say they're both toxic I mean they always say things to bring me down, mock me, be little my successes, ignore boudaries I've set, try and push family members away.
Thing is, I think I'd be happier not having my sister and brother in law in my circle, so that way I'm not triggered, boundaries don't constantly get pushed, I could leave my past behind a little more. Leave more room for happiness.
But what about my niece?
I want to be there for her but have been dealing with her parents toxicity for too long now.
If I just wanted to keep them all out of my circle...is that okay? This would include not talking to my niece anymore. I know I'd be hurting my niece's feelings. I feel so guilty because she's very attached as I am to her but I'm ready to get off her parent's rollercoasters.
Hope this made sense. I've had a headache on and off for a bit.
Thank you for any advice or insight.