Is It Hard For You To Cry?

[Toriplays]

Yup... hard for me to cry. I've had many tell me what a "release" it is... but in my mind, and ex...

I seek change of circumstances...this is profound.

 

[Beemo3780]

I used to cry, but it made my situation worse. I was perceived to be weak, and that made me easy prey. I've kinda grown hardened over the years, and it takes a lot in life to make me cry. I also refuse to let people see me as being weak, so I will not cry in front of anyone. My husband knows that if I'm actually crying something is really wrong.

But at the same time, I have no problems getting emotional over a movie or even a sad song.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is this something others tend to experience?

I haven't cried since I was around 7, I believe, when I was quiet literally afraid for my life for crying. I remember he held me up on the wall by my neck, feet dangling, and he got right up to my ear and said to stop that baby whinning and shut my f*cking mouth or he will end me. From then on I learned to swallow any tears and express it other ways.

I still do so today. I have yet to cry in therapy in 8 years. I did once when he was reading a passage from the bible about how "god" sees you and then I after my eyes swelled up (no tear falling) I disocissated.

I also had a tear fall one day re-reading something about my past I had written a while back and was confused. I wasnt crying but a tear fell and i remember saying "whats this?" to myself and being just very confused.

Other then that though, not a tear. I do feel like I am supposed to be bawling my eyes out or that would be of some help but not being able to even make myself cry. I talk about my past so matter of fact like. Like I am telling you the weather. Almost cold like. I am so very seperated from it. My therapist is trying to help me build the bridge back to it though. Not sure of any help to cry. I feel things and I slowly allow or give myself permission to feel more and more very slowly. You dont have to cry to feel. But its been a very long process of building up that bridge one tiny brick at a time.

 

[GwenDR]

@lostforgottensoul :hug: I'm so sorry you had to go through that, and glad you're getting help. I hope you're able to work everything out.

 

[Phantom Shadow]

I have not been able to cry since my father passed away. Did not cry that day or any day since. Only person that could make me cry was my father.

 

[artpop]

As a child I cried over literally everything- my parents got sick of it, and told me to stop crying because it "doesn't solve anything"-I've held that with me since. I only cry when I'm laughing, or if I'm alone and feeling particularly bad. And to some degree I still believe that sentiment-crying is, of course, healthy and relieving, but logical thinking lets me reach a solution or a "way out" faster.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, my abuser would not let me cry, for one thing. Even my father, who was emotionally abusive at times to me, if I recall, did not like it when I cried.

These days, I almost NEVER cry. I feel on the verge of it sometimes, what with the political situation in my country and the vulnerable position I am in, being poor, living on government disability benefits that might be ended or cut down, and basically not knowing what the future holds for me, but fearing the worst a lot of the time. It is all I can think about a lot of the time. I live in fear. But I cannot cry. I have not cried even once since the election, nor for a long time before that. I cannot even recall when the last time I cried was, it is so long ago.

I do remember one time when I was sobbing. I owned a motel and after the world trade center bombing, no one was travelling by plane anymore. Since most of our guests had come from the airport, I was losing the motel. I knew it was hopeless at one point. Our life's savings and investment was going to be taken over by the bank we owed the mortgage to. That was in 2002. I also screamed and screamed in exasperation. And yes, we lost the motel, and I ended up homeless for 2 and a half years while my husband ended up on Medicaid for nursing home patients (a government program) and he lived in that nursing home until the day he died.

 

[Tinyflame]

I was rewarded not to, always.

Lack of trust and sheer terror shuts it down too. Except where no one can see.

If I started I wouldn't stop. It hurts too much.

I agree with @Rumors .

 

[NewBeginnings]

I haven't cried since I was around 7, I believe, when I was quiet literally afraid for my lif...

For me crying must be buried deep too.In my past I cried so infrequently. Early on my dad used to spank me with his belt (bare bottom). He would tell me how many times and have me count. It was never much to start -like 10 times. The thing was if I cried he would start over. For some reason around 8 or 9 times I would let out a cry and he would start over. (And over again) I think that has been big reason why I can't cry. That said I had two tears drop out of my eyes somewhat recently and I was ready to cry but nothing more would come. Crying carries so much with it - vulnerability, being safe, and being in touch with my emotions and feelings - I am sure the time will come but not sure what is the catalyst.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Crying carries so much with it - vulnerability, being safe, and being in touch with my emotions and feelings - I am sure the time will come but not sure what is the catalyst.

I agree. I feel very unsafe all of the time so being vulnerable can't happen. Nor can it when no one believes me. I internalize it all because of that. And i am also very out of touch with my emotions. I'm about to start a thread about why I think is one reason I am but just in general, I don't know if I know what emotions are really. Like I can name them but what are they really? You know?

Its buried very deep and so out of touch that there is no way I can make myself cry. The closest I have come is listening to Hallelujah recently.

I wanted to put some quotes in from a site about the back story of the lyrics of this song. I didn't realize it was a story of King David in the Bible, with a bit of a mix of his own life.

"We're broken human beings, all of us, so stop pretending, and we can all use the word hallelujah because what it comes from is being open and transparent before God and the world and saying, 'This is how it is, mate.' "

"It builds, it lifts, then there's always the one word coming back down. It's almost like sex – it builds, it builds, there's that moment, and then the afterglow. To go on that journey, the whole thing taken as an experience, is wonderful."

How Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' Brilliantly Mingled Sex, Religion

For me, it's not like sex but an emotional release. It builds and builds and builds and in comes a ball of tears wanting to come. They didn't but god they wanted to.

Leonard Cohen recently passed away.

I just found that any version of that song wells that emotions in me. There is a lady that rewrote it to tell the Christian Easter story and I am not a believer really and still found that emotion welling so I think it is just how that song moves. I could rewrite it to tell my story. I just don't sing well. But thats the only song that really wells that emotion and where the tears just want to fall badly but can't.

 

[Draiocht]

Really hard, although it's happened a few times in the past few years. I can pinpoint mine because my mum told me a few years ago that she "taught" me not to cry when I was a young child. Any extreme of emotion at all had negative consequences and I used to consciously repress everything I felt. It's hardwired now. I am having difficulties unpicking it. But like others have said, it's about feeling safe to be that vulnerable.

 

[Skyalex]

So my family would always react pretty strongly to me crying when I was a kid. My sister cried all th...

I have a hard time crying and I have for years. I believe it's because I'm so dissociated with my feelings. I rarely feel happy, but I have a lot of anger and anxiety.