Is There A Life After Self Harm?

[Bristol]

Ive been a self harmer since i was a kid but as the better weather rolls round i realise that the thought of another summer hiding in jumpers isnt what i want anymore. I dont have a support system with it away from here only my t knows, everyone else thinks i grew out of it as a teenager. I currently do it most days.

I feel like im opening up to the prospect of leaving it behind but this is a scary thought. My question is that, is giving up self harm mainly just a game of using alternatives for the rest of my life, is the drive always likely to be there or is there likely to become a point where i am officially "done with it"? I think im trying to work out if this is going to be a life time battle or not and what im gearing up towards in wanting to give it up.

 

[Muted]

For me, the desire to self harm went away for a long time. During traumatic periods I had suicidal ideation. Both have been triggered at times as I've worked on my trauma.

 

[Bristol]

Thanks for replying @Gia1019 i sort of hoped it would be something that would leave me eventually

 

[1MJ]

I stopped cutting around 3 years ago. The first 6 months were definitely the hardest. I like to think of it like smoking. Its really hard to quit because you get horrible cravings for them at first, but as time goes on you don't really even think about it anymore. Even the smell of cigarettes becomes horrible to you. However, sometimes when you're really stressed out, when something horrible happens, you think "a smoke might be nice". For me, I maybe think about cutting once every 4 months, which is pretty good considering I used to cut every other day.
Just hang in there, life becomes so much better without cutting! I hope everything goes ok for you!

 

[Ana222129]

Hey! If you wanna have a little chat! Hit me up :) stay positive! Nature loves you ❤

 

[Mach123]

I think I'm better but it just becomes more subtle. If I am not involved in harming myself directly then I just get other people to do it. I figured out I was doing this (or that this was going on) before I knew I had trauma. I knew it was in my subconscious so no matter the circumstances I would always end up the same way. If you remember the old movie "forbidden planet" this is in fact what they refer to as "the monsters from the ID."

I believe we can get better though.

 

[One step at a time]

I had been trying to stop for six months, when I finally threw everything out. It has been four years since then. The first few months were the hardest by a long shot.

Some pretty stressful things happened, and I have lapsed 4 or 5 times - the last time was a year and a half ago. They were isolated moments, and they made the temptation to return to old behaviors - to relapse, fully - much stronger for a few weeks after each lapse. But I have not done so, and the thought comes up very rarely now - roughly every four months, like for 1MJ, instead of every minute of every day.

So, short version: yes, there is a life after self harm. And we are here to support you in fighting for it. Sending hugs if you want them.

 

[Bristol]

Thanks @One step at a time it would be good to get to the point where the urges are occasionally rather than constant!

 

[Heather]

There's definitely life after cutting. I haven't cut in 19 years. I have no desire to do it.

But I didn't stop until I wanted to.

 

[Bristol]

Wow 19 years is a long time, maybe i can do it but eventually, like you said, when im done with it

 

[Tiffanyiasad]

Ive been a self harmer since i was a kid but as the better weather rolls round i realise that the thoug...

For me personally, I haven't cut in 9 years. When I decided to stop cutting it was because I realized I was addicted to it. But like all addictions I had to replace it with something. I was able to use music, walking and hot yoga to curb my urges. I also utilized a rubber band on my wrist to snap when the urges were bad. They key is really your mind set. If you want to be done, be determined that you will be done. I'm not gonna lie, there are days where I sit there and seriously try to talk myself into doing it, but I haven't let myself do it in 9 years. As for support, nobody in my family ever knew I cut. To this day they don't know, only my ex who paid for treatments for my scars and my husband. The internet is full of broken people looking for other broken people to connect with that will understand. So talk to any of us here or elsewhere for that support. good luck won't stopping. Just believe in yourself and remember you are stronger then you know

 

[Llith]

I know in some ways I have replaced it with unhealthy things, but I am overall coping better, and having summers to my self again is good.

You do stop wanting to do it, it's like a wall in your brain, if you stop it stops becoming an option after a while. But often I cut to avoid dealing with emotions so you do have to be prepared to essentially feel more and sometimes for longer.

What helped me stop was getting a tattoo on my back telling myself it symbosied the end of my hurting myself. I have failed a few times since then but over all I always remember it when I want to and it reminds me of my decision. Strange but it worked for me.