I've Found 'the One' And Now I'm Waiting

[Orglethorp]

I feel like I've known my boyfriend forever. I've trusted him 100% since our first date. I wake up happiest when we've been together, even if I'm waking up alone. I love his family, and I already feel like I'm a part of it. We go out on the town with his brothers, up to the cabin for the weekend with his parents, and to his Nan's house for Sunday dinner. We hang out with his best friend & best friend's fiancé. We hang out with my sorority sisters (who occasionally refer to him as my husband). He's eagerly agreed to fly across the country with me in August to meet my family.

I'm so comfortable with him that I don't mind long silences. I've never found silences to be awkward with him - which is good, because he's never been the chatty type, but he's opened up around me quite a bit in the time we've been together.

He includes me in all of his favourite activities, and gets gleefully excited when I show and interest in these things too. (You should have seen the cheshire cat grin on his face when I bought a skidoo helmet!) He tries things I like to do as well. He likes to show me all his favourite places, and all the places he used to spend time as a child and teenager.

He knows about my past abuse, my history with PTSD, and what I'm still dealing with now. He handles it all so well, and he assures me when I have my doubts that he can handle my bad days. He tells me that I'm part of his family, that he's not going anywhere, and that he's never letting me go.

There's nothing about him that I don't love. He has his quirks and flaws, as everyone does, but nothing I can't live with. Mostly I find his quirks endearing, anyway.

I truly believe, with all my heart, that this man is "the one" for me. I want to marry him. I'm ready to be married, but I'm not in any rush. I just turned 26 and he'll be 25 later this year. He's still an apprentice carpenter, not yet fully licensed. I'm an engineering student still, and I'll need 3 more years experience once I've graduated, after my internships are tallied, before I'm fully licensed myself. So, yeah, I'm in no rush. I don't want to start a family just yet.

The thing is, I'm so used to losing the people I care about. I'm so afraid that despite how much he tells me he loves me and he's never leaving, that someday something might change. I know that's just issues from my past boiling up to the surface, but what can I do about it? I don't want to worry or hurt him by asking for reassurance all the time, so I don't.

I'm also constantly wondering if he and I truly mean the same thing when we say forever. I know that I want to marry this man, but does he know that he wants to marry me? I don't want to rush him into anything, but I want to know that this is really going to last. Any advice?

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I know exactly how you feel. I can't help but think why is he with me? And I can't help ask him will you live me forever. I wish I didn't but he knows that sometimes I need reassurance. When I am feeling kinda ok I apologise for being what I call needy. Just talk to him sometimes when you say something out loud to someone you realise how silly it is. It sounds like you have a keeper. I bet he will be more than happy to help you work through this. Together you're a team now. Xx

 

[BLHutch]

I'm far from being a Dr. Phil or anything, but it sounds to me like you've found "the one" just as you titled your post. He sounds like a great guy. I wish the both of you a lifetime of happiness.

 

[The Albatross]

I think you are wise to acknowledge that some of the sense of rush could be being used to losing the people you care about. Of course rationally, there is inherent risk in any relationship endeavor and we can't really know or be genuinely assured of outcomes. The adage, better to have loved and lost than not at all or something like that comes to mind. Plain and simple there are no assurances , but having said that very glad to read that you've found love and happiness with someone special.

For the best odds at a favorable outcome, approach the relationship with as much maturity as you can muster, and focus less on your own difficulty and allow time and consistency to bring his intentions into clearer focus.

Relax and bask in the love and affection that this man clearly has brought to your life. It is an enchanting, joyous and most wonderful time (being in love).