Kittie's Journal

RussellSue

Not Active
Where I live, there is no one to meet. I'm leary of dating sites, I would be honest, but concerned about predators. I would have much less anxiety if I had the right someone in my life. I'm too trusting, to a fault. It's too bad people place so much value on looks when its what's inside that counts

I am sorry, Kittie. I missed all of this. Previously, you mentioned that your boyfriend didn't handle crying well. As someone with PTSD who does cry, it concerned me. So, I can't say that I am not a little relieved for you, though broken relationships are hard and I am sorry for what you are going through.

My husband and I met in our sad little home township of about 750. We have no super romantic story, though. I responded to his Craigslist ad. That was scary but once I figured out who he was (our newspaper editor) and we met in a public place, it stopped being scary.

It is what is on the inside that counts and smart people know that. It is also hard for anyone to meet anyone in a small area. But I am glad to hear you are not setting. You deserve to have a good life with an empathetic man who works at least half as hard as you do to be introspective and kind. One way or another, I think you will find that.
 

scout86

MyPTSD Pro
Please be careful Kittie.
I'm seconding that! When you mentioned a break in, he was the first person I thought of. I was relieved to hear it wasn't him, but.... Anyway, maybe the creepiness just comes from cluelessness, but I'd be open to the possibility of calling the police about the "strange vehicle" parked in your driveway. (If you do, maybe mention it could be a wacko ex?) The postcard.....can anyone actually BE that clueless? Seems like he almost HAD to know that wasn't appropriate.
 

Kittie

Confident
I am sorry, Kittie. I missed all of this. Previously, you mentioned that your boyfriend didn't handle crying well. As someone with PTSD who does cry, it concerned me. So, I can't say that I am not a little relieved for you, though broken relationships are hard and I am sorry for what you are going through.

My husband and I met in our sad little home township of about 750. We have no super romantic story, though. I responded to his Craigslist ad. That was scary but once I figured out who he was (our newspaper editor) and we met in a public place, it stopped being scary.

It is what is on the inside that counts and smart people know that. It is also hard for anyone to meet anyone in a small area. But I am glad to hear you are not setting. You deserve to have a good life with an empathetic man who works at least half as hard as you do to be introspective and kind. One way or another, I think you will find that.
I won't stress about it. I thought because we had known each other for many years and were becoming close friends, there was a chance he might someday be more than just friends. Even just friends is fine. He wasn't bothered by things that scare most people off. I evidently didn't know him well at all, in a short time I didn't feel as comfortable with him as he did with me.

I don't do "alone" well, but its better than the unhappy future we would have had. I chose to drop out and send him on his way and I'm glad I did.

I'm glad you found a good person! Those are rare nowadays. I hesitate to try dating sites...strangers who could be more than just strange. I'll meet someone by crossing paths with them in real life, if its meant to be. I didn't think I was so picky...but I discovered I am! People who have people in their lives are very lucky. It will happen when I least expect it but "looking " is looking for trouble. As a hermit, its not likely I'll meet anyone. This area has no social functions or groups. So I'm a cat lady and have to make myself happy! Its not a bad existence, just "empty" and a bit depressing. I've been taught a lesson...things could always be worse so I'm thankful for every day that I can wake up and smile!
 

Kittie

Confident
Checking on you this morning Kittie. Please let us know you are ok.
I'm fine! I thought he might have gotten bored and left but we're both all-season campers so 14 degrees wouldn't be enough to run him off. I'll just be lowkey today with the curtains closed. No worries! Thanks for thinking of me but no need to worry. Smile!
 

RussellSue

Not Active
I don't do "alone" well, but its better than the unhappy future we would have had.
I don't either. I am sorry.

I'm glad you are picky. There is nothing sadder than knowing good people who are in shitty and damaging relationships they won't get out of because their self-worth is so low that they just let themselves rot.

Sometimes, alone is better.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
What concerns me is you don't seem to see anything wrong with this picture. Just wanting you be careful but will butt out of your business. Stay safe.
 

Kittie

Confident
I'm seconding that! When you mentioned a break in, he was the first person I thought of. I was relieved to hear it wasn't him, but.... Anyway, maybe the creepiness just comes from cluelessness, but I'd be open to the possibility of calling the police about the "strange vehicle" parked in your driveway. (If you do, maybe mention it could be a wacko ex?) The postcard.....can anyone actually BE that clueless? Seems like he almost HAD to know that wasn't appropriate.
I never suspected he was the thief, he has plenty of money to buy anything he wants and he considered my belongings not worth bringing, that I should leave it all here and buy new stuff. Easy for him to say!

I plan to let him wait...he can't sit there forever. Letting him move along of his own free will reduces the chance he will become angered by police and return later in a bad state of mind. I think he'll draw suspicion to himself when he's noticed sitting in his vehicle for a length of time. The police know I have no visitors and since the break-in, they upped their patrol from once a day to twice. I think it will play itself out without my help.

As for clueless...he is! I can't figure out the motive behind it. It could be out of kindness, a joke or anger...or he has a strange obsession-guessing by what he wrote on the card. I dunno, but I do know I no longer wish to associate with him and will continue ignoring him. I'm glad those people were recognized and remembered. Maybe it will be a stepping stone toward closure.

I still think The Guy is a nut! So well hidden during the years we worked together. It goes to show it takes a long time to know and trust someone. Perhaps retirement hasn't been happy for him and brought his true self to the surface. He always did seem to "enjoy" a big news story, able to keep his composure in any circumstance, which I kind of admired. I often found myself wiping away tears and dwelling for days. It was a joke, the camera wasn't out of focus, I was!

I have my own life to deal with. Its not so bad. I'm happy for the wild adventures of technical climbing and wilderness wandering, good memories...but it ends there, as good memories. I'll still venture out, there are some things not recommended to do solo...common sense. Not many people my age get out into the wildlands and enjoy natural thrills. I live for it! When I know he's moved on, I'll take my tent out for a few days...nature is the best medicine!
 

Kittie

Confident
I don't either. I am sorry.

I'm glad you are picky. There is nothing sadder than knowing good people who are in shitty and damaging relationships they won't get out of because their self-worth is so low that they just let themselves rot.

Sometimes, alone is better.
Agreed 100%!
 

Kittie

Confident
What concerns me is you don't seem to see anything wrong with this picture. Just wanting you be careful but will butt out of your business. Stay safe.
I see plenty wrong with this picture, that's why I disconnected myself from him. You don't need to butt out, your advice is good! When I started seeing the signs, I knew it wasn't even a true friendship...I became more distant until I stopped communicating. By taking myself out of the picture, I think I did myself a favor.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
My sincere apologies Kittie for MY stuff splashing on you today. No excuses. Just not myself and appreciate your situation and how you are handling it. Sorry.
 
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