Unfortunately Ativan is the worst one. The last time I took Ativan, I wound up handcuffed to a stretcher after trying to beat the shit out of my mom. Yah, really. I am just fortunate I was too f*cked up to actually land a blow, but it's what permanently put me off of benzos. I don't ever want to put myself in a position where I could harm a member of my family outside of my conscious decision to do so.Maybe ask for a very small dose to take at home to see how ou react?
And I absolutely wasn't in control. I also forgot a huge chunk of that entire time, so I couldn't even begin to explain why I behaved like that and have no excuse for doing so. (What I remember is that I was angry that I didn't have money to go buy more drugs - real winner stuff, y'know?) Every f*ckin' benzo addict I knew was also the same - a violent shithead. There's just something about it that turns off the logical analysis part of our brains.
The only exception to this seems to be zopiclone, which is a z-drug, not a benzodiazepine exactly. But, I have had some "close calls" with losing control of my temper on it, so I would be afraid to expose myself to a real PTSD trigger while on it, and potentially losing control of myself due to being in a compromised state.
Another option is ketamine?
Ketamine is definitely a great option, I wasn't aware that dentists offered that! I'll make sure to bring that up. The half-life of nitrous oxide is very brief, so I can understand why it simply might not be effective enough, for long enough, to be a worthwhile endeavor. I think it lasts like less than 20 mins.