Lingering Nightmares & Hallucinations...?

[Belle Reve]

Hiya, I've been having a terrible time with nightmares lately and I was wondering if anyone has gone through a similar experience like the ones I've been going through?

I've been having PTSD nightmares on and off for the past 7 years after I survived some abuse and trauma- I've only been treating this trauma and my PTSD for a bit over a year. It isn't unusual for me to have 1-2 weeks a month when I have a PTSD nightmare, but they're usually very mild dreams thanks to some type of anti-nightmare medication my psychiatrist prescribes me.

However, recently I've started having really bad drea,s again- ones with the type of passionate fear and negative emotions that linger for days afterward.

When my PTSD and/or depression were at their worst, I'd sometimes "hear" voices I knew couldn't be real- it sounded like mumbling I couldn't make out or the light sound of footsteps coming toward me. At first, I'd walk around trying to see what noise I was misinterpreting as "voices" or "footsteps", but since I've begun treatment for my trauma and PTSD, I've learned that these audio tricks are just a symptom (?)

It's been a long time since I've "heard" any of these non-existent footsteps or mumbling, but over the past week, I've been having nightmares again, so severe they remind me of the ones I used to get right after I survived my abuse and trauma. Last night, after another nightmare (I think I was still waking up) I kept "hearing" loud footsteps and noises as if someone were rifling through my room.

I reminded myself none of it was real- probably remnants of the nightmares- I could see I was in my room, safe and sound- then I guess I lightly drifted off again until I woke and "saw" this light like a flashlight shining into my room. I felt this weird paralysis (the kind that sometimes comes if I wake up too quickly) and panic. I managed to scream, "Who's there?" at least three times before I figured it too must not have been real- maybe a trick of the light, a lingering nightmare, who knows.

Has anyone else experienced this? This is frightening and I feel like I'm going completely insane xP

I'm pretty sure this has a correlation though- the past month or two, I've been remembering my trauma much more clearly than I ever have before (up until a year ago, I would just shove the bad memories away and refuse to acknowledge them). Specific dates, names, etc are all coming back to me and it's like a broken faucet- I can't turn it off but I also can't turn it on- these specific details I had logged away will just suddenly pop up....

....so I assume this may be why my nightmares have gotten so severe...but has anyone ever experienced these types of audio-visual stuff? Or the lingering nightmares that make you feel crappy all day? Is there anything you've tried that helps?

 

[Leigh925]

Yes I have experienced that as well. I go through periods of sleeping better and then periods of severe nightmares and sometimes the after effects lasts for two or three days.

During that time I have 3 to 4 nightmares a night and in between those dreams when I am trying to fall back asleep. I often am hyper vigilant and hear footsteps or doors opening and every sound has me on high alert. The footsteps are particularly scary for me. I know my son is asleep or that my husband is out of town and can tell myself that the footsteps aren't real but I can't convince myself of that sometimes.

After reading a post on this site about weighted blankets. I folded a very heavy quilt that I have and started using it at night and surprisingly it helps me feel more contained and safe when I wake up between nightmares. I have been failing back asleep much quicker and am able to get my heart rate down much faster.

Also when I start down the path of having nightmares again I try to be more diligent about having a bedtime schedule that is relaxing and unwinding. I take a bath, drink a hot tea, read a book and try not to anticipate a bad night. It is the equivalent of tucking myself in.

My stress about bedtime seems to feed into the vicious cycles of nightmares. I have nightmares so I stress about it. The stress raises my adrenaline levels and creates more nightmares.

Sleep has been a challenge for me. It is up and down. I wish I had a better answer for you!

 

[Nam]

I have the hallucinations like you describe when there is lack of sleep and high stress. Mine tends to be voices, usually male, lots of them in a room, all yelling at me, but I can't understand a word. I also get the thumps and bumps and occasionally a sound that hums like electricity.

They all disappear with better sleep; not length, or duration, but quality. (Hard to get, I know.)

When my memories surfaced, it was a flood at first. I was overwhelmed. But it does taper off a bit. I, too, have no control when they come. Usually when I'm feeling pretty stable.

 

[Angelwings]

I have nightmares at least 3 nights a week. They are really bad, and if I wake up, they can cause flashbacks. I understand where you are coming from. I recently started EMDR because I think it may help, however, I've spent most of my years in therapy avoiding the topic. We'll see what happens. I know my pdoc is trying to make me sleep with sleeping meds. So far, that's been unsuccessful. I know that Zyprexa has helped to decrease the intensity of the flashbacks, and I'm on quite a bit (20 milligrams), but I still have them. These flashbacks are intense and it feels like I'm back in my trauma again. Anyway, my whole reason for posting was to suggest you look into EMDR and see if it might work for you.

 

[Nyssa]

Hallucination + paralysis could be sleep paralysis. Have you ever heard of it?

 

[Nyssa]

Hallucinations themselves, without the paralysis, could be considered like flashbacks I guess.

I used to have those in between nightmares as well. Reminding myself I was safe and sound in the present helped.

When I was really freaked out, I would get up and do something in order to fully wake up before going back to sleep. Otherwise I could just fall back in the same set of nightmares. And yes, it made me feel crappy all day.

With time and therapy, it gradually retrieved. I still have scary moments every once in a while, but that's ok. I wish it will get better for you as well.

 

[Belle Reve]

Thank you so much for your replies- they're all so freaking comforting, even just to know I'm not alone and not going completely off my rocker..

@Leigh925 thank you for the advice-- I've heard of the heavy quilts before, and I'm totally going to get one now. I love tea and books, so combining them...I can totally see how that will help.

@Nam, that's exactly what happened to me a few weeks ago. I was watching television, something triggered me and bam- this huge flood of emotions and memories out of nowhere. It literally took the strength out of me...since then, like you said, it pops up now and then...thanks for sharing, it helps me so much to hear from someone else with experience of this.

I worry so much that my therapist or my parents won't believe the memories that have re-surfaced because my mom doesn't exactly understand. ("You didn't say that part the first time. Are you sure you're not just confused? Maybe accidentally making things worse than they are?" is her frequent comment.) Usually though these fears are assuaged, my parents and I are close despite our differences, and we are teaching each other how to communicate more efficiently...

@Secret Yes, I've been doing EMDR about once a month for the past nine months. Damn is it painful, but after a few days it does help- it's something I should definitely bring up again with my therapist when I see him after the holidays.

@Nyssa thanks- yeah, I've heard of sleep/dream paralysis and it is comforting to know part of my experience last night was probably biological too...Gosh, yes, same with me- I can't go straight back to sleep or I'm back in the loop of different nightmares xP

Video games probably aren't the best resort for that, but I use it responsibly so I guess I should just be careful with it, don't want to fall into escapism...

@Leigh925 @Nam @Secret @Nyssa Thank you again for your insightful comments- I can't tell you how much they help. My heart already feels a lot lighter and it's such a relief ^^;;; God bless y'all! I hope I get the chance to return the favor sometime- but meanwhile, take care, I wish you the best! Hopefully I'll see you around the forums =)