Lying and ptsd

[Upside Down Eagle]

To be honest, perhaps I do care about what other people think, but not in the way described above.
Otherwise why am I trying so hard to explain my point of view? :D :laugh:

That´s been something I want to cut down on, but I´ll reserve that for a different topic.

 

[Neverthesame]

Ultimately whether it's a potential friend or landlord, I don't think it matters much.
A sufficiently vindictive landlord or property manager, can get you evicted from a place for whatever reason they feel like pinning on you.

It does to an extent boil down to whether or not they like you. Again leaving you with the original problem of either they don't like you, then deny you tenancy. Or they find out later, and make life so miserable that you leave.
Right?

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Hmm, I think we have different opinions on this. Which is okay.

A friend for me is different than a landlord. Or employer. With a friend, the power balance is equal. With a landlord or employer, the power balance definitely isn´t equal. I am much more inclined to share details about my life with a friend. Also, I´m more inclined to worry about what friends think of me.

I´m less inclined to share details about my life with a landlord, or an employer. Also, I care less about what they think of me. I care about whether they have a good calculation of my ability to pay rent, and whether "disability income" and "unemployed" will set off any alarms for them. In most cases, it does. It´s not about me as a person, but about my status.

Also it´s not so much about being evicted as about being given a chance to rent a building in the first place. For me, those are still different things. But we can agree to disagree.

 

[Mach123]

Thank you so much. I have posted in similar threads and maybe started one because I almost can't think of a more interesting or relevant topic. I used to think of myself as scrupulously honest but I was mostly too confused to have that sort of opinion. I used the truth for sure but mostly to cause harm to myself. So severe. Cutting is bad, I know that, but the stuff I did to myself with this little technique boggles the mind. Remember who was making the rules. My abuser and I. Come and get me I just lied to you. You still trust me though right? Yeah right. : (

 

[Neverthesame]

Hmm, I think we have different opinions on this. Which is okay.

I agree. :)

We are from two different cultures (assuming your flag is accurate), certainly two different people. I'm happy to agree to disagree.

 

[CatInTree]

We are from two different cultures

That probably has a lot to do with it.

I happen to have gotten very lucky with an understanding landlord (she just wanted to verify that I get enough to pay the rent), but if I found that being honest about having ptsd led to difficulties in getting a roof over my head I'd also be lying about it and leaving things out.

 

[Mach123]

If I even tried to tell people what happened to me you can see the wall go up in front of them. They don't wanna hear about it and after they do their attitude is usually well okay never mind. Then I feel like I gave them some trauma because I just told them something they're never going to be able to forget.

 

[Varun13]

I found a thread with the exact same title (it asked if you lie about your trauma). My question is a differe...

I can relate.

I guess one does it because one feels like being judged all the time. Guess keeping a very limited sphere of connections is one way to stop.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm on Disability too. I understand exactly what you are talking about. I have Lyme Disease, so sometimes I blame it on that, even though I am experiencing mental problems. Lyme causes mood swings anyway, so even that can be Lyme related and I do have Bipolar as well as PTSD.

I hate the stigma. My mother had to tell me when I was very young NEVER to mention that she had, had a "nervous breakdown." I was told in no uncertain terms that there would be dire consequences from others, because of the stigma, for our whole family if I were to say anything about this at all.

I do find that people are concerned and want to know why I was in the hospital a few weeks ago. They assumed it was Lyme related and I did not tell them otherwise. I don't really know if that is a lie, because frankly, to some degree, when I have been so stressed by mental stuff, it has exhausted me physically to the point that I don't feel like doing much of anything other than what I absolutely have to. My Lyme can cause that too, so I have no idea what is what anymore. All I know is that I needed help and when I went to my pdoc this week, she even gave me something for my arthritis, so I was grateful that she saved me a visit to my regular Dr. I will go in January to that Dr. anyway, but hey, saving a co-pay is no small thing these days!

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

The Dutch are definitely different from US and Canada, we are very direct, rational and sometimes very business-like rather than empathetic. Which might be one of the reasons I see the interaction between me and people who have power, as a kind of strategy game :D. Friend interactions are very, very different because there is trust and you have an emotional bond.

A friend and me were talking about this recently (dishonesty towards employers, etc) and he said people are more accepting of it when you say you had a burn-out. Which basically means you worked so hard that you ended up a complete mess. Regardless of the fact that this is quite unhealthy behavior, people are more okay with this, more understanding.

It´s so sad that people can have something like a nervous breakdown, and then be all scared of what society might think, and then attach judgment to you and your family. The idea still is that if you stuff down your feelings and ignore all your emotions, you´re very strong, but if you actually feel a lot of things you must be messed up. Sigh.

 

[Changing4Best]

That is sick about burn-out being more acceptable! I hate all this stuff so much.

I guess in a way, what I was trying to say for myself is that I don't quite know sometimes when my physical illness ends and my mental illness begins. They definitely overlap! Also since they both have some symptoms in common, you can see my difficulty. None the less, I did say at work not long ago that I have PTSD. I said it to a co-worker, because she was trying to make excuses for someone's improper behavior towards me and that I should be understanding and all that because he has "shell shock." So I explained about having "it" too, but for different reasons. However, it took me some 2 years to get to the point of admitting my PTSD and I know that it got back to my boss, and I know that could work against me when I need my next client. Still, it seemed the right road to go at that moment and I don't regret having said it that much, just a little....

 

[Victory]

oh please. I lie my ass off. Why do you think I'm on an anonymous site for people with ptsd? It's the...

Freida, you are such a breath of refreshing air, and don't ever let anyone tell you differently!