SeekingAfrica
Diamond Member
Hi everyone,
I am looking for any helpful things. I've learned a lot in the last years, but I am so highly overwhelmed that any small thing that can help is welcomed.
Basically, I was unemployed for a year. I finally have work, but also too many debts and bills to catch up on, so for some months evening out my budget is a huge challenge that requires selling things, long work hours and somehow being together enough to plan and apply to other better paid things so that the future can be better than what was before. I have days when I handle this amazingly and do more than I thought I can...and then there are days when I find functioning or hoping really tough. I know I need to hold on just a little more to even out some debts and then things will become a lot easier...
But nevertheless remembering that on bad days is horribly tough. I end up highly depressed with intermittent panic attacks about the future. It takes me a day to get it together and after that, I take a lot of actions forward in the span of a day- or 3-4 days...and then I have some non-functional days again. On those days I only manage to do 1-3 tasks, and only the most urgent ones.
And yes, it's apparent for me that I need literal help, therapy, whatever, but currently that's not an option. Also I don't have a credit card and obviously after the last year I can't have one right now. If I do well the next 3-6months maybe I'll be able to get one. But for now, this is where I'm at. The last year really depleated my resources practically and mentally. I'm starting to get on my feet again, but it will take a while. Please be kind, I know I shouldn't be in this situation at all, and I promise I am already hard enough on myself for it.
But regardless of how I got here, I still need to be strong enough to get through this. I'm trying to read DBT and that helps sometimes. I found some books to listen to. I find it hard to concentrate lately, which happens when I'm constantly anxious. Today is a middle kind of day- I did what I had to do, but I was super-anxious the whole day and having burst of anxiety in between. I just need to somehow believe in getting through this...
I am looking for any helpful things. I've learned a lot in the last years, but I am so highly overwhelmed that any small thing that can help is welcomed.
Basically, I was unemployed for a year. I finally have work, but also too many debts and bills to catch up on, so for some months evening out my budget is a huge challenge that requires selling things, long work hours and somehow being together enough to plan and apply to other better paid things so that the future can be better than what was before. I have days when I handle this amazingly and do more than I thought I can...and then there are days when I find functioning or hoping really tough. I know I need to hold on just a little more to even out some debts and then things will become a lot easier...
But nevertheless remembering that on bad days is horribly tough. I end up highly depressed with intermittent panic attacks about the future. It takes me a day to get it together and after that, I take a lot of actions forward in the span of a day- or 3-4 days...and then I have some non-functional days again. On those days I only manage to do 1-3 tasks, and only the most urgent ones.
And yes, it's apparent for me that I need literal help, therapy, whatever, but currently that's not an option. Also I don't have a credit card and obviously after the last year I can't have one right now. If I do well the next 3-6months maybe I'll be able to get one. But for now, this is where I'm at. The last year really depleated my resources practically and mentally. I'm starting to get on my feet again, but it will take a while. Please be kind, I know I shouldn't be in this situation at all, and I promise I am already hard enough on myself for it.
But regardless of how I got here, I still need to be strong enough to get through this. I'm trying to read DBT and that helps sometimes. I found some books to listen to. I find it hard to concentrate lately, which happens when I'm constantly anxious. Today is a middle kind of day- I did what I had to do, but I was super-anxious the whole day and having burst of anxiety in between. I just need to somehow believe in getting through this...
