Supporter Marine Vet With Ptsd Pushed Me Away And I Dont Know How To Get Him Back.

[scottygirl]

I am sorry, and I do not mean to sound full of self pity. I joined this site to try and get some kind of understanding or explanation for his sudden actions.

I have been so happy since I have been in the relationship, everything anyone could dream about really. Holidays together , talking every day we were apart, gifts, life together in every way imaginable.

Its not as simple as to just move on, there are things to sort out too. I have a bank account in the US, healthcare, a car over there, half my belongings have already been shipped, so these are issues that have to be dealt with. Also i have the visa people to deal with as I have had my interview, and we were waiting for the visa.

How can I begin when he will not answer anything properly or not at all ???

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Hi Scottygirl. You may want to start your own thread asking for help and introducing yourself as often people don't go back to the same thread once they've read/responded to the original poster. I'm sure you'll get more help that way.

 

[HighwayToHell]

I am sorry Sarah I did not mean to sound flippant - I didn't realise you had half moved countries and I should have been a bit more specific, in that I was talking in terms of making a decision one way or the other, and moving forward emotionally.

It is an awful situation and I wish there was more I could do to help.
I do not know how you would best sort all that out.

I should probably write something more helpful to redeem myself but the truth is, I am having a bad head day and it is 4am over here right now and I am not getting enough sleep.

Good luck anyway and I hope other people on the forum are helpful to you.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I am sorry Sarah I did not mean to sound flippant - I didn't realise you had half moved countries and I should have been a bit more specific

Highway,
Do you realize that you've been replying to 2 different people in this thread, both Sarah and Scotty? Sarah hasn't moved countries.

 

[HighwayToHell]

Yes I did just got the names mixed up sorry.

 

[scottygirl]

So sorry Sarah, Highway and Scared. I only started here a few days ago and still finding my way around.

I had read some posts and just answered, I will start my own thread.

Thank you all anyway

 

[HighwayToHell]

No harm done mate - so long as you are talking to us, everyone is better off :)
Looking forward to tracking your progress and I wish you all the best Scottygirl for your recovery.

You are on a long journey. Take good clothes!

 

[nursenurse]

I'm not sure how long you guys have been seeing each other (every couple of months), and really how long you have been a couple, how quickly you decided you guys were going to get married. The sudden actions may not even be PTSD related. He could have just gotten cold feet and that is that. On the other hand, some PTSD folks are unable at times to process the stresses of relationships, and just move on.

You don't sound full of self pity. It is the same scenario I have read here over and over again, where the abandoned party is left in a "WTF?" mode. Because you have been blind sided. And terribly let down. The complicating factors of an anticipated move can only cause more pain. Chances are, he won't answer you, at least not for now, and the more you push, the less likely he will.

Start searching within yourself what you want to do, and start figuring out what to do about those complicating factors - the car, the healthcare etc. Check with American Immigration about your rights. If he has been working on all of this for you and you haven't kept yourself informed, well, a hard lesson learned.

He may still contact you. Isolating is not uncommon. I just tend to take break up messages at face value. But it can end up being an emotional roller coaster ride for the rest of your life, if he does come back. If he is not in some sort of therapy, it will not change. If he doesn't want to seek help himself, you will not be able to make him, and therefore it still will not change. You will end up emotionally beaten, and I don't wish that on anyone.

My heart goes out to you. It is so unfair. But it is what it is. Lord how I hate those words :(