Marital Issues

[Joseph King]

I thought I was getting better, then I dropped out into a depressive state. They changed my meds and my mood is now stable. However its not good or bad, I am just there. I don't crave sex with my wife. She thinks I don't love her. She tells me quite often. I take my meds like a good boy, but I cant get back the fun in life. I quit drinking 3 years ago but once in a while I crave some beers. I don't go out to the bar, I stay home. But my wife makes a huge deal out of it every time. I know you shouldn't drink on antidepressants, but sometimes I just want an escape. My wife talks about sending me to the shit every time I drink beer, but she never does. Either way, its upsetting and I want to drink more when she complains. I don't turn into an asshole when I drink and I don't hurt anyone. I sit in my man cave and just chill out. The way I see it, I am 45 years old, been to war, and I don't feel like I need a babysitter to tell me I cant drink.

Any thoughts?

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Not a good idea.
Just mixing it with the medications is enough danger right there. Could go to sleep an never wake back up from risking that.
I had a hard time not drinking while on antidepressant med's as well a couple years ago.
I sound like a medical cannabis spokes person by now I'm sure, but it really can give you a 180 to the "Just there." effect of big pharma's drugs.
Some vet's testimonies on coming off of big pharma med's stated that it, "Gave them their soul back."

It's basically a form of sedation with pills.
One thing at a time, step by step. I'd start working on ignoring the temptations to consume alcohol.
Even if you're a chill drinker. Especially because of the medications.

 

[vikingr24]

Actually depends on the meds you are taking. Some docs get their panties in a wad over meds where alcohol is not contraindicated. Problem is, most are.

I find most of the time when I break down and drink is when I am bored. So alcohol becomes party food for the brain. And you gt tired of staring at the wall when you try and sleep.

The definition of an alcoholic includes having an impact on those around you. IF that is the case, then it might be time to get off and stay off. Give the anti-depressants a chance to work and they probably will. You will find new energy and time to keep busy with something you enjoy doing.

Meanwhile, let your wife know in a polite and sincere way, that nagging often makes you drink more. Not a reaction. Just a fact. But be prepared for her to leave. Do you want that?

 

[Chin Strapped]

She's probably worried and reacting how she thinks will get you to listen. Most people, veterans or not like a blow out and to get away from it all here and there. Just for us, it can be quite damaging and our spouses know this, they see it and have to deal with the aftermath. But As Vik said, not all Meds will require you to stay away from booze, just your mental health does!

While we're on about it, alcohol is the worst thing for me. I can get away with a bit of weed and feel ok, however I'm getting my head around the fact I need to stay away from most things now for the rest of my life. Although weed basically helped me allot and was my medication, ultimately I ended up a bit of a mess and lost in a haze, so i needed to get off it like most Meds.

Find what works. I have to do PT every day, even if it's a dog walk and yoga. No excuses, I must. Or I get drawn to real ale down my local pub, or a bottle of gin at home = depression, paranoia and anxiety x10.

 

[Chin Strapped]

I sound like a medical cannabis spokes person by now I'm sure, but it really can give you a 180 to the "Just there." effect of big pharma's drugs.

100% :ROFLMAO:

But warranted. It worked for me.

 

[Trackstar]

I am a veteran and the spouse of a veteran. I too am on meds that changed alot of things for me, its is really all about get the best combination for your symptoms some providers will only treat the PTSD, they don't treat the depression that comes with it, or the anxiety and the difficulty concentrating. It took lots of meds and several docs before it hit the sweet spot. My husband on the other hand refused meds its not his thing. My husband had symptoms similar to yours, and although we deployed together at least once, I still went through what your wife is thinking he didn't like my body anymore. I would often think there was someone else or that he no longer loved me. I know what he did during his deployments some of the time I was even there. But now that you know how your feeling, and how you want to deal with your issues. Take the time to find out how you want to handle how you contribute to the way your spouse feels about your relationship. Sex isn't the only way to show affection toward your spouse. You can still tap her on the but and tell her how beautiful she is, or sit down and talk to her about what you are going through with the medication and the drive not being there anymore. Explain how you still feel about her, your relationship and be as sincere as you can. I spend a lot of time in my room, but now that my husband and I are with the understanding of his needs and issues my needs and issues we devote an date night. At first it was once a month now it's more frequent. We have three children and sometimes we trigger each other and we have to be very diligent with coping. Communication can be one the most difficult things with these diagnosis, but it's one of the most vital elements in treatment and maintaining the family. Please express to your spouse how you feel, if you can't say send a text send a flower, but communicate somehow. I wish you the best.

 

[Raven]

If your meds make you feel that numb, they should probably be adjusted. To to your doctor about it.