Medical Marijuana And PTSD

[Shellbell]

I'm not judgemental about people smoking marijuana legally for medical purposes. But if you are selling it, then you are taking a huge risk as that is illegal and if you get caught, well tough and don't complain, you broke the law. It should only be available through medical services and not bought on the street.

I personally wouldn't use it even legally for PTSD as it can cause paranoia - something I do not need on top of my hypervigilance issues, can cause depression which could further aggravate my MDD, can cause anxiety issues and I have that already, it affects driving and I need to drive and to smoke it causes other medical illnesses that I am not going to inflict on myself.

I'm not saying that it doesn't help some medical problems like chronic pain, but I don't agree with it being a drug to be used for PTSD.

 

[sorcha]

I have to say the few times I have smoked it when I have had PTSD it does one thing, makes me go dive under bed covers as I am so overly paranoid! This may be because I quit smoking it in March and decided to try again last week, it wasn't a good experience, I never ever felt like that!

 

[garden]

I find it interesting how different drugs can affect people in such different ways. For example, I gave birth without drugs, no epidural (it was how I planned it), but they gave me Vicodin to take for the pain afterwards. I had to refuse the Vicodin because it would give me itchy, tingly skin, I felt like I was floating, and I was nauseous. It also made me puke. In fact, I don't use pharmaceutical pain killers at all, I'm afraid of them. I refused the epidural for the same reason, it scared me.

I have a friend that becomes extremely paranoid if she smokes pot, but if she has a cup of cannabis tea she is calm and relaxed. I don't know why this is, but whatever works...

 

[rightkindofme]

I have been a pot smoker for about three years. I've been smoking daily for about two years.

Right now I have to be quiet, calm, and patient in a way that I have never had to be ever in my life and I suck at this. I am an angry person. I am a very physically active, non-touchy person. I hate being touched.

So I'm kind of doing the Attachment Parenting thing because I did a lot of research into parenting and child development before getting pregnant and I believe with all my heart and soul that this is the right thing to do no matter how *I* feel about it. I think that people are born with the biological need to be the whole center and heart and soul of someones life for about three years before they are ready to start integrating into considering other people. I believe this. Just like I don't try to talk people out of Christianity, leave me alone with this. It is an obsession that will only last a limited period of time so I feel comfortable with my cult, ok? :)

Oh my goodness I feel like I am drowning. This is brutally hard for me. I don't know how to be this kind of mom. This is not what I was taught. All day every day is full of constant choice and action. I have to think really hard about everything I say and do. I am exhausted. I feel depleted and tired. My youngest is almost 2.5 years old. The baby phase is almost over.

I tell myself that I smoke pot so that I can be physically numb enough to handle being pawed all day until my kids are old enough to have a rational conversation about body space. They mean well. They love me so much. They aren't trying to hurt me all day long. I feel like I am living with mini abusers. :(

I am handling this by staying pretty stoned most of the time. (I don't smoke at all on days we drive--so I minimize driving; we go on a lot of long walks.) I enjoy the cuddling when I'm stoned. When I'm sober I feel like I want to claw my skin from my bones. Just stop f*cking touching me before I kill you. So I stay stoned most of the time. When I'm stoned I am thrilled to take a break from chores and cuddle on the couch.

When I am sober I work maniacally and shout at them to leave me alone and stop touching me. I work because that's an excuse to be moving and away from people. My house is very clean. I have remodeled my house by myself with two little kids just because it was an excuse to put up a baby gate and keep them away from me while I worked. Because it gave me an excuse to not be touched.

My kids were on my body or my husband's body nearly 24 hours a day for the first six months. For at least 12 hours a day until they were walking.

I am so fried. Crispy crunchy fried. I hate being touched so much that the idea of sitting next to someone on public transit makes me cry. They might touch my shoulder. I will burst into tears and start flinching when it happens sometimes. This uhm, freaks people out. So I get stoned!

When I'm stoned I go through life with a smile on my face and not a lot gets to me. I can walk away from arguments and not feel like I want to be involved. I can handle casual touch. That's huge.

I can't do it forever though. I need to figure something else out. I'm waiting until my kids are just a little older. It's going to be hard for them to handle being more respectful of my body. I'm pretty difficult. :(

 

[sorcha]

I have been off smoking weed too. IT takes my nightmares away, in fact it takes my personality away, I can function fairly well though and very little gets to me when I am stoned. I did smoke for many years but stopped early this year, I do not like being touched either, I have no idea why, this is why I never date, I just have to sit next to male and I shake, they try to hug me and I shake more.

Quitting weed is not easy, I am very angry with myself for smoking it again but I had an awful nightmare and it felt the only way to go, I am now back to over thinking, sweating badly and not sleeping due to PTSD and now quitting weed again, I smoked for 16 days, I had no idea I would have to withdraw again.

 

[bright_morning]

Wow, this discussion exploded since the last time I chimed in. I have been an official medical user in my state for 2 years now, and I now smoke pretty much daily (with the odd day off here and there for emotional calibration).

My therapist also knows and is in favor of me having something to help. We freely discuss my marijuana use in session and she has validated my ideas about it. We use it in conjunction with talk therapy, EMDR, and self-soothing exercises she teaches me for homework. I am so grateful I could cry right now.

It does make me "paranoid" as well from time to time, but I usually just view that as something difficult from my trauma wanting to make itself known in order to be processed. I just ride the wave of anxiety and see what comes out. Marijuana actually helps with this. Then again, I am triggered all day long and my symptoms come from a lifetime of trauma, no less than 100+ events of ritual abuse and many subsequent "one-off" traumas later in life. This state of being doesn't make the jitters on weed much of a shock to me. In fact any feeling or movement of feelings is good for me so I often embrace it even when its uncomfortable. Being an angry robot for 32 years has sucked so bad I'll take paranoia over numbness sometimes.

I don't get much down time to reminisce about how calm I was before "the weed made me crazy." The weed didn't make me crazy, I am not crazy. I have PTSD.

I'd like to encourage each of you that don't need medication or feel marijuana is useless to you to smile! If you are solid enough inside to work it out without assistance then DO IT! :D

I quit using pot recreationally in my early 20s and had no plans to return. I certainly wouldn't be here posting about it if I didn't need it. You are doing so very well if you can move through the days and weeks without any chemical assistance. I can dream of that and work towards it. I certainly didn't imagine myself being almost 40 and starting to smoke it again.

I will say this about using medical marijuana for PTSD: one must be very intentional about seeking the right strains, and this can only be done under the sanction of the law so that you can fully explore what your local collectives and dispensaries have to offer. Buying from the streets is only going to cause anxiety to be added to anxiety.

 

[garden]

"One must be very intentional about seeking the right strains, and this can only be done under the sanction of the law so that you can fully explore what your local collectives and dispensaries have to offer. Buying from the streets is only going to cause anxiety to be added to anxiety."

bright_morning, I agree with this wholeheartedly. I guess I might take for granted that my own medical marijuana use is legal, and that I know specifically what strains I'm using. Getting drugs off the streets, whether they are prescription pills, or indica come with a risk.

I have yet to experience paranoia while using this form of medication and I consider that a blessing because that's not a side effect that I'd like to experience. As with any drug, there may be side effects.

 

[JSKarma]

Marijuana for PTSD is hit or miss from what I read. But for me it helped confront my symptoms by leaps and bounds.

I was not an active smoker when the trauma happened, I wasn't introduced to it until four years after in my first year of college and even then I never thought of it as a catalyst to heal myself. I had probably only smoked a handful of times throughout college, never the while thinking anything about PTSD. Just chilling out really, smoking the stresses of study life away...as per the usual college kid.

Fast forward, five years after the trauma event (I was mugged by the way...I can't believe I can even type that as easily as I just did) ... I'm out on my own finally, an independent adult ready to take on the world all while battling the inner war against my self diagnosed PTSD. A demon left by the mugger now my personal pet...

An exciting and fresh world, ready to be tackled...yet my will hindered by invisible walls put up around my brain. Thoughts barricade logic like a rabbit in a simple cardboard box trap.

I tried everything, I really did. From straight on "confront your fears" to over thinking ridiculous self healing plans which just made things worse. Around this time Marijuana was become more and more decriminalized. It's benefits more widely known the the public. I thought....why not? I had started hearing how PTSD was now one the illnesses that Marijuana could help treat. So I gave it a shot.

It wasn't as simple as just smoking any strain as each has different THC, CBD content, etc. I noticed that heavier indicas (in simple terms, weed that gives you a body high as opposed to the crazy cerebral high) helped a lot with my thought loops and obsessive door checking. These two among the many of my symptoms.

I don't 'smoke myself out' to numb anything. It really is a catalyst and helps me compose my thoughts in a manner that is just astounding to me. The thoughts flow...they don't stagger...they flow. I can stop, analyze and work on something if my anxiety is acting up.

Goodvibes to all.

 

[garden]

I use a cannabis tincture, 2 dropper fulls orally most evenings. For me, it inhibits the racing thoughts, eliminates nightmares, and I'm able to fall asleep and stay asleep for at least 6 hours in a row, which is huge for me. The best part is, I never feel "high", just normal. I was prescribed zoloft, but after researching it, I found that the cannabis was the healthier option, since its virtually non toxic to the body, and prescription drugs can become toxic in the body if not well monitored. Also, I still feel the same emotions, but not in an overwhelming way, instead, I can feel and process things without having to experience the physical symptoms of PTSD, such as a racing heart, trouble breathing, feeling as if someones choking me.......I hate the physical part of ptsd more than anything......

Anyways, just wanted to share that there are alternatives to smoking it, and the oral use doesn't feel the same as when you smoke it. My husband notices when I'm out of my tincture, he says my body language changes, and I'm triggered way more often....

I do want to ad that I use it relatively moderately, and for me, that has worked. I don't want to eat a whole pot brownie, or anything, just two droppers once a day.....anything more would be ridiculous....like taking an extra pill when my prescription states to take only one.....

 

[garden]

Just wanted to share something....about this wonderful but controversial plant.

Marijuana has only been criminalized in more recent history. In every ancient medical manuscript, from the East Indians, to the Chinese (two oldest civilizations) it has been cataloged as a medicine, its various modalities for use, and ailments that it helps are all listed in detail.

So the world has know and used it as medication, as well as for making fabric, or rope (etcetera) for thousands of years, but it's criminalization is a modern phenomenon, motivated by politics and economics.

If you do some research, you'll see what I mean. Look at it from an anthropological perspective, free of the propaganda, and see what you find. It opened my mind up a little.

 

[rightkindofme]

I do want to ad that I use it relatively moderately, and for me, that has worked. I don't want to eat a whole pot brownie, or anything, just two droppers once a day.....anything more would be ridiculous....like taking an extra pill when my prescription states to take only one.....

I don't get much useful effect from the tincture. I've had some for a while and I try to use it but it doesn't help me. With edibles the problem is getting the right dosage. So is it one bite or two or three or five or... and you have to wait so long that sometimes it feels like you are getting nothing so you have more and then ack. It's difficult to be consistent with. Because the edibles do vary in potency.

All of which is to say--hey you know me and sometimes I have a whole pot brownie. It depends on how the day is going. I don't eat it in one sitting (or I wouldn't get off the couch again that day) but over the course of a day I absolutely do.

Everyones anxiety is different. Sometimes I stay really really really stoned because if I don't I am emotionally volatile in a way that isn't ok with my kids. I'm thrilled that being more moderate is working for you. Body chemistry and trauma vary substantially. :)

That said--I also have a prescription for Ativan. I usually take 1/2 a pill and I dose very rarely because it is hard on my body and habit forming. I'd rather be stoned. :)

 

[garden]

You're right Rightkindofme, body chemistry and trauma vary substantially from one person to the next. With any form of medication, the proper dose has to be found. I know people who never find what medication works best for them because they are not being properly monitored, and they've switched medications so many times. I feel very lucky to have found what works for me, and I'm thankful that I get good results with such moderate use.