Relationship Medication

[tegan]

Hi,
My partner is on efexor xr.
He says this makes him feel no emotion, like he is on auto pilot.
Does anyone else's partner take this medication? Can it be a reason for cheating?

 

[a3a2]

I am a sufferer, on a low dose of efexor. I have not had the experience you describe, but I have watched my spouse on an overdose of Paxil. In his case, he went out and bought things. Large things. Like vehicles. And, yes, he described feeling nothing.

If you are going to stick with him, he's got to see a doc, asap. It is best if you go with him, since he is unable to adequately describe his irrational behavior. I would also suggest switching docs.

 

[marc and honey]

The depression is why he would feel numb. The Effexor is probably not working for him, also antidepressants often take 2-4 weeks to work so if he just started it he may want to give it a llitle longer. Otherwise maybe Effexor is not the right medicine for him. I was on it for over a year and then taken off due to increased anxiety.

As a PTSD "sufferer" from multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. When Soldiers come back from deployments we seek the intense rushes we felt in combat through many ways like retail therapy, sky diving, and driving fast (down right crazy driving). That is not caused by PTSD, it is the body's natural desire for the rush. Although things may come close it never is the same, with time that balances out.

PTSD would have him reliving situations of the past as though they were happening now. With therapy they become less intense. I am not an expert, but I do have first hand knowledge on the subject.

The XR on Effexor is the extended release, you only have to take one per day rather then the standard Effexor you would have to take several times a day. The side effects do not include overly high sexual desire or causing one the inability to know right from wrong. In fact one of the side effects of Effexor as well as many other antidepressants in men is the inability to get or maintain an erection suitable for intercourse.

I apologize for being blunt, if you are going to work thing out. You need to get the truth, as stated in my previous post maybe counselling would help. If not you need it look out for the best interest of you and your child. If there is any fatherly bone in his body he will do whatever is best for you child and quit being selfish. I truly am sorry you are going through this.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Medication doesn't make one cheat.

A common side effect is low libido. I'm sure that some have experienced a higher libido (hey, any side effect is possible) but that doesn't make one cheat.

I think you should consider that he is actively choosing to cheat on you. He is giving excuses as to why he cheats and can't admit that it's him, and just him. Drugs don't make you cheat, PTSD doesn't make you cheat.

 

[amethist]

Can it be a reason for cheating?

If he is cheating, he is doing it because he wants to, no other reason. That said, it does not mean you are not good enough for him, he is just one who plays that game and thinks he can get away with it.

It's now up to you to decide if you can stay with a cheater or do you walk away with your pride in tact, you choice.

 

[ashdawn8287]

I was on effexor and I had really bad side effects.

The cheating thing, never heard of a medicine having that side effect, but I do know some medicines cause irrational behavior. I attempted an overdose on this other medicine I was on, which is completely out of character. So I guess its your call to decide if this was out of character or if it is part of his character, personally cheating is unacceptable and I have thrown people out of my life for it. Although painfully hard, in the long end it worked out better for me.

 

[Sweetpea76]

No medication side effect excuses cheating. PTSD does not excuse cheating either.

 

[a3a2]

I respectfully disagree with some of the things others have written. My husband takes ssri's for migraines, not depression. On several different ssri s (Paxil, effexor, too many others to name) when he got on a high dose he complained of feeling emotionally numb. The numbness, in his case, WAS caused by the medication.

My husband is a financially wise man. He carefully considers what he spends. In one case, however, when overdosed on Paxil, it lowered his inhibitions and he bought not one, but two piece of crap vehicles as well as furniture. In one case, I had even forbade him to purchase it, but he had no recollection of it. He became fuzzy brained, couldn't remember names, and fell asleep behind the wheel of the car. He made decisions that were uncharacteristic of him.

No, I don't believe the medication or the PTSD excuses the cheating, but I do believe it (the medications) could have lowered his inhibitions. In my husband's case, when confronted, was repentant. He did whatever was necessary to regain my favor and trust (and believe me, it took A LOT). This included allowing me to attend his doctor appointments.

Cheating and buying excess cars are not the same thing, but there are some behavior similarities here. I believe, if he is not willing to take responsibility for his actions, if he is not willing to re-win your love and trust, if he is not willing to have you work with him to formulate and carry out a plan for the PTSD.....then you should find the nearest curb and set him on it. Or, even if he is willing to do all this and YOU aren't willing to go it with him....that's okay. He cheated on you. You don't owe him anything.