Mother

[Deleted member 29920]

Me too :)

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Putting this here so it doesn't buzz around my head any more. Sunday was two years since I told the old T what she had done to me. The second person I told. On Sunday she posted a new photo online, with him and the dog. She rarely posts anything.

Two years.

Enough already.

I want to move on.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Just a little reminder to myself

July 2002 - December 2003

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Sometimes I wonder what the rest of the family make of my "disappearance"

Do they wonder why I stopped talking to her?

Did she tell anyone about the solicitor letter?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

"Healing hands" poster.

Ironic

Immensely saddening, angering, confusing.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Questions

There are too many

Why did she become interested in all the holistic therapies?

...?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I miss the parts of her that were good. Or seemingly good. I hate the mixed feelings.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Possibly, re-enacting her own traumas (if true), by assaulting me then "looking after" me. Attempting to "resolve" her own traumas. Interesting too that her therapy tunic resembled that of a nurse.

Just putting that out there.

Having less intense flashbacks.

Laying stuff to rest.

Odd feeling.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Alchemist - Paulo Coelho, etc.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'm massively in denial now. There are all these effects of mdsa, I just want nothing to do with. I want a mother. I want my mother - the good parts of her. It's far too devastating. It would be stupid to contact her. I just want the good parts back. I want this to all be a bad nightmare, and to just wake up or someone tell me I just imagined it all.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I don't even care about what she did anymore.

At all.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

It's so much easier and better for me to not think about the abuse at all. No more dwelling on the past.