Mother

[Deleted member 29920]

What terrible mothers we all had. How sad. Hair was a problem for me, she made me have it far too long, with a fringe that was too big, I wasn't allowed to have it shorter. My hair was very thick and it was so uncomfortable. I notice she never had her hair long. When I got the style I liked at about age seventeen she had nothing but criticisms. According to her, my forehead is too big, I have said this to other people and they disagree. She used to criticise other parts of my body too. It really affected my confidence. Made me hate being looked at. I'm gradually gaining confidence now though, finally.

 

[oasis2003]

@Cj77 I glad you are feeling more confident now

 

[Gadgie]

I was never close to my mother, we never did get on, then at the age of fourteen, I defended myself for the first time, and after that I was homeless for a while?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Gadgie, I'm sorry to read about your mother too. There are a lot that have done so much damage. I am sorry she made you homeless, what an awful thing.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

To ****, it's now seven years since I stopped having any form of contact with you. It has been better without you. I feel sad that I have had to make that break from you. I wish you could have been good to me, been trustworthy and genuine. And wish you hadn't made me so dependent on you.

I don't know what else to say.

It hurts every time I type on this thread.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote.........". I am sorry she made you homeless, what an awful thing."

I had to go really, as that was the first time I had ever defended myself, she called the police on me, but to be honest, I was too scared to carry on living there, as there might have been some retaliation for me, while I was asleep?

I didn't want to take that chance, I moved into the house that my Dad was renovating at the time, under the radar of course,mas he never told her that I was sleeping there.

 

[patootie]

@Cj77, You are a strong person.. there is always a place for your heart to rest.

 

[InfinityBT]

Im so sorry...i can relate. My mother is also toxic. She may have points as to her goals but she does them in such negative ways.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Gadgie, I understand the fear she might have hurt you while you were sleeping, how terrible that you couldn't trust the one person you should have been able to.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@patootie, thanks, I am struggling to see that I'm strong though.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@infintybt, sorry you are able to relate to this.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

To ****

It was cruel and selfish of you to create me, to bring me into an abusive family, to try to keep me dumb, and dependent on you. You knew how bad my life would be. My existence has felt like a curse. I wish I could wipe you from my memory.

I haven't "forgotten who (you are)." I really wish I could though.