My Best Friend Is A Terrible Person.

[ashdawn8287]

Thank you for your support naturebaby. It is much appreciated. I was looking for support and pretty much got hounded and it caused some triggers but I am seriously okay. I handle triggers well.

It is hard reading texts because their is no tone or body language, which easily causes confusion.

I wasn't looking to debate philosophy I just wanted a hey hang in there or hey this doesn't matter. Not someone breaking down my every word. But again, I do think I was very hazy in my initial thread. I assumed when I said terrible people had the same meaning as me or would just believe me and take it as that.

 

[nomedic1]

In situations like this we need to support each other. With each others help we can get over most hurdles.

 

[Flyaway]

I agree - you don't need people like that in your life. Hopefully you'll find like-minded peoples on your trip! ...it sounds like she is jealous and is wanting to tear you down in whatever way she can... I hope you don't wear her negativity

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I was looking for support and pretty much got hounded and it caused some triggers but I am seriously okay. I handle triggers well.

I just want to say that just becasue I answered doesn't mean I am right. You know the situation the best, not us which gives you the finally say becasue you are there in your shoes and you know her better.

Take what you need to and feel is right Ash and leave the rest.

 

[Philippa]

One thing I learned on online forums is that unless you spell out for people what you want and expect from them, they aren't gonna know. So ask us if you want support, but be specific as to what your idea of support is, because then you end up with advice you don't need, or hearing stuff you would prefer not to (though it really sounds like you were wanting us to tell you what you wanted to hear in this case) That isn't always realistic and people don't HAVE to tell you what you want them to or tell you "Go you, go get your dream". You didn't ask for any of it, so you should expect people to have their say.

If she doesn't support your dream, then she isn't a friend. Period. If she is just holding a differing position on this one issue, mainly to piss you off, then it doesn't make her a terrible person, and you're right...none of us are supposed to be able to read your mind and know what that entails.

Since we are all ignorant, judgemental people who all act the way we hate in others at times, but of course never see it when we do, then we have nothing to say about others that we cannot say about ourselves as well.

 

[ashdawn8287]

Its okay I understand.

 

[felicia]

I had a "best friend" like that. We have been friends since 3rd grade. Our friendship started with her being jealous because I had long pretty hair and she didn't and we somehow became friends...our friendship went out with jealousy, she was jealous because I had more friends than just her and that made her mad. I tried with her and eventually ended the friendship. I didn't recognize her anymore and we didn't hold the same values and she was just very rude to me and everyone else around. If you feel like severing ties with your bff will be best for you I say do it. I thought I would be sad that we ended our friendship and actually I am a lot happier. I felt like I was in a bad marriage with her the last year due to her insecurities and jealousy. Good luck whatever you decided to do. :D

 

[Pietro]

Recovery from trauma can be a two-edged sword. As you recover, you begin to see that many of your friends, and possibly even family, have big problems of their own -- problems that you have resolved -- and this makes these relationships increasingly imbalanced. Just as recovered addicts need to ditch old friends because the friendship was built around the addiction, people recovering from trauma often need to do the same. It sounds harsh, but, unless others are willing to take the journey as well, you will inevitably leave them behind.

 

[Philippa]

Yep, this was definitely the case for me. I'd done so much work on myself and on my issues, adn my family are all happily in denial and not willing to have open and honest relationships, which at this point I cannot compromise on as I have committed to this path personally. I simply don't gel with them anymore and it is really hard to be around people like that who pretend everything is ok, when you know it's not.

 

[Philippa]

Ashdawn, I feel like I owe you an apology.

I read over my first comment in this thread and I feel like I was a little harsh on you. I am not sure why other than I was just not in the best space myself. I'm sorry if I took that out on you.

 

[ashdawn8287]

It's okay I understand. I have no grudge or negative feelings towards you. I was very vague in my first post and upset when I typed it so it came put unclear with no background information on it. Thank you for the apology though.