My diary of random thoughts

[AnnieMae]

You've got to restore some sense of hope. Stop thinking the world is against you. Things will get better.

But they aren’t getting better. I am constantly rejected, constantly let down by other people. There is no connection between myself and other people. I hate it to be honest. I used to have so many opportunities and now they’re gone. Things that just came to me. Now, it’s awful. Not like it used to be. I can’t stand it.

 

[AnnieMae]

What's your goals in therapy?

Find myself, get my shit together mentally. Possibly learn how to meet people that are worth trusting other than my family- if that is even possible. Oh, stop the nightmares, but I am honestly living a nightmare. I’m alone and I hate it. This gives me all the anxiety in the world to be honest.

 

[AnnieMae]

I overshare way too much. I repel people away from me and reject the ones I want. I hate life lol. It’s not fun, no one listens to me, I hate my job but can’t find a better one, school is too expensive, if I buy a house I’ll be broke. I have to have things in order and it just is not working out with people. I am tired. I want love so bad but feel like everything I say is used against me. It sucks. Just like when I get divorced and now all these people that keep rejecting me. It all sucks so bad. I hate it. Rejection, being alone, rejection, being alone. It’s all awful.

 

[AnnieMae]

My whole life is seriously closing in on me. Everything I do is wrong. I am emotionally disturbed after all of this. He set me up and I am failing. I can’t build a better life for myself, I can’t find anyone better. It’s just all bullshit. Therapy isn’t helping. I can’t get back the lost opportunities and new opportunities are not presenting themselves. I’m so tired of being rejected I just stay where I am and it is driving me nuts. Not being around others is driving me insane.

 

[AnnieMae]

All I can say is everything is a lie. Nothing is getting better. I have no life, no friends, nothing is getting better. My job will never change because I am scared to lose it. I am constantly being dumped by people and the people that I thought were going to help me have not. I don’t even have energy in me to do anything anymore. I’m just watching my damn life go by and no one cares. I hate my life so much. Not being a part of anything sucks. No friends, no work, just nothing. It is not fun.

 

[Rani G2]

@AnnieMae can relate to some of the things you’ve written .. sending support

 

[AnnieMae]

I don’t know why people don’t like me but it hurts. I am basically a loser with no friends and no one likes me. I am waiting for things to open up more so I can get involved in groups. Not sure if that will work or not...probably not. And I am such a home body I probably won’t stick with it.

 

[Survivor3]

I don’t know why people don’t like me but it hurts. I am basically a loser with no friends and no one likes me. I am waiting for things to open up more so I can get involved in groups. Not sure if that will work or not...probably not. And I am such a home body I probably won’t stick with it.

Give it a go with the groups. You never know it might be good for you. You might be able to make new friends.

 

[AnnieMae]

Give it a go with the groups. You never know it might be good for you. You might be able to make new friends.

Yeah, I just never really thought I was this unlikable by people. It is just so bad. And everyone I know is in a relationship and it is just devastating to me.

 

[Survivor3]

Yeah, I just never really thought I was this unlikable by people. It is just so bad. And everyone I know is in a relationship and it is just devastating to me.

Try not to be jealous of other people. Sometimes its good to have time to grow on your own. You've been through alot.

 

[AnnieMae]

Try not to be jealous of other people. Sometimes its good to have time to grow on your own. You've been through alot.

I keep going through a lot. I just can’t win. It’s devastating to me. Nothing is going right in my life. I just want a normal life.

 

[AnnieMae]

I just cannot handle the anxiety anymore. I need something. Please God, even though I know that praying isn’t going to work. I missed the market on all of this. I am not what I thought I was and nothing is working out. My whole life is ruined because I couldn’t move on. Everything is coming to a grinding halt. I am a complete loser and I cannot handle it anymore. It’s f*cking with me. I have no sense of self, I try in therapy to heal everything and it’s not working at all. It’s just not working and it’s killing me. I never had anxiety so bad. I can’t take it anymore. This is so surreal. I don’t think I will be getting a house and no one knows what it is like to lose everything and to keep having bad things happen to you all the time.