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My Grandfather is Dying - Talking About It

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By the way this has nothing to do with my grandfather. But honestly I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe. My reality is no one else reality. I sometimes wonder was I in some accident a couple of years ago & I am currently in a coma?

Okay third try at quoting here.. grrrr...

Anyways, your not some psycho freak nut case in my books, unless I considered myself one! Which I don't, so there! :wink:

I have often wondered if I was in a coma or had brain damage or something as (seemingly) no one seen or experienced what I did in my family either. Slowly outside people have been verifying that I am not nuts and this all did take place. My family is so deep in denial they created a whole new universe just for them and I'm supposed to buy it. However it just doesn't fit. I bet your family's universe doesn't fit either.

There is a thread, Repressed Memories, in the Information section PTSD. I would suggest reading it, as it has some helpful tips on how to work on verifying memories (yours or someone else's.)

I wouldn't discount this family member's accounts just because they are a drug addict. Self medication is HUGE when there are abuse issues. There could be something to it, there might not be. Chances are, if this person is seeking help for it, there might be something to it. Perhaps it's not as much as this person thinks or the details are different, who knows? Just.. don't completely toss it before you've had a chance to really examine it, after the shock wears off.

Hang in there..

bec
 
Thank you Bec.
This person has undergone hynotherapy by a registered psychologist.
This person claims however that they have always known this, never lost the memories, and is what in fact drove them to seek help from a psychologist.

I actually feel very unwell. Physically & mentally I guess. I really don't feel good, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
 
Bec, as soon as I read your post, I took a sleeping pill & went to bed, so thank you for that advice as I definitely needed a rest.

Thanks to everyone for their posts, it gives me a boost.

I'm not going to work. Basically, I'm not really with it. Zoning out apparently, not recalling conversations as soon as they finish. My GP says I'm having anxiety reactions. That I'm not aware of what my emotions are, and if I'm unaware of the triggers or what I'm what feeling then I'm unable to manage them.

Self-care, I know that's what your meant to do when you are the way I am now. So I'm going to give that some thought.

Talking about it, yeah I know I've got to keep trying to talk even though I've really only done that on here. I will keep trying with that too.

My GP made an off the cuff remark of "gee you are collecting traumas aren't you". I kind of wonder what is wrong with me or what I'm doing or not doing that these things keep happening to me?
 
I hear ya on the self-care. I need to take my own advice since I haven't slept in over 32 hours and have had nothing but high stress for weeks. I'm taking my pills (which are NOT making me sleep) and attempting to sleep again.

I wonder about collecting trauma's also, but I'm so freaking tired I don't think I'd make sense. I'll try to get back to this when my brain is working again.

bec
 
Now it's my turn to tell you....

Get some rest Bec! Even if you can't sleep, try lying in bed, relaxing. Hot milk, soothing music. Think of a safe place. Think about something fluffy, non-triggering like hollywood gossip or your neighbours garden. Instead of counting sheep, I try silly things like giving my Oscar speech for best actress, director & best picture!!! LOL. What dress I'd wear etc. Silly but takes your mind off things.

Honestly even just to get a post answering mine, is a godsend. Truly. I feel heard. Connected. Thank you so much for that :Hug_emoticon:

Now go get some sleep young lady:naughty:
 
My GP made an off the cuff remark of "gee you are collecting traumas aren't you". I kind of wonder what is wrong with me or what I'm doing or not doing that these things keep happening to me?

Life happens. No matter what we do or don't do things just don't go the way we plan sometimes, we all know that. But wondering what you're doing or not doing that might cause additional traumas sounds like it might be a distraction for you.

You had no control over your grandfather dying. You had no control over your family member just blurting out what he said. You do have some control over how you respond to it. Again, it just seems to me that asking that question won't help you right now.

But that's me on the outside looking in and I'm sorry this got dumped on you so soon after your grandfather (is there supposed to be a good time?). But I hope you are doing well and getting enough rest. Take care.
 
Thanks Erryyn, I think what you are saying is something my therapist would say. It makes a lot of sense.

I think I might start a trauma diary on here. Maybe write everything out. It's a damn shame for me that my therapist is has been on leave for 3 weeks. But maybe a diary might help.
 
I've found my diary really helpful for venting and getting my feelings out... especially when I didn't have anyone to talk to, or didn't want to talk. If you feel up to it Awakening then definitely go for it, it can be really helpful.
 
Thank you Batgirl. Actually what made me think of it was your diary.

This is really dumb but I didn't know that section existed. I could see trauma diary -public, but I didn't know about the other section where yours is - can't remember what it's called.

I read bits of your diary the last couple of days, as I was trying to work out your connections with Jim & Kathy etc. I'm really impressed & inspired by all of you by the way. It made me realise that even decent people have crappy complicated stuff happen to them. That I'm not the only one. So thanks for doing a diary.

I've just started a diary over there now. Kind of nervous about what I've written, but anyway, I gotta get myself out of this pit somehow.
 
Yeah I love Trauma Members because everybody on the forum can read it but its not indexed by search engines. So it's really fairly private. Trauma Members is fairly new though... can't remember when it was created but it's only a few months old.

Thanks for what you've said about me and my family. I don't think I could do half of what I've done without them, they are awesome. It is kind of confusing, our relationships I mean, I'm confused a bit myself right now so I'm not surprised people on here are!! ;P Basically though Jim is my biological father (though I wasn't raised by him) and Kathy is my stepmother. My brother Travis, Jim and Kathy's son, is a member on the forum too, though not online much. His username is Sapper.

Anyways good luck with your diary! :)
 
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