My Memory Is Changing Or It Was Never Right

[Tympre]

For the last 3 months I thought I spent 5 days in sept in the hospital. Today I came accross proof that my stay was a week and it was the first week of oct. Now dont get me wrong, I get how time can fly by. But ya see even though I see the proof my brain still says otherwise. I am I alone in this confusion or is this possible something with ptsd?

 

[WillyKat]

It could be that you just miscounted. I imagine that one day in a hospital is pretty much like another. If you were sedated or were on something powerful, you may not have noticed one day blurring into another.

That said, loss of time is a symptom some people have when they have dissociation. I don't know much about this, but sometimes people can dissociate for hours or even days and when they come back, they don't know where they were or for how long.

 

[Tympre]

I was not medicated at first, then it was just a mild antidepressant. I am beginning to think I dissociated. Thank you for commenting. Seeing the proof today was quite shocking.

 

[WillyKat]

Well, it might be proof. I'd talk it over with your therapist. Do you have any other incidents where you've lost time or found yourself someplace not knowing how you got there?

This is not the same as I used to do occasionally on a long commute to work where I lock up the car and then suddenly didn't remember the drive in.

 

[Tympre]

No I dont have any other moments where I felt I did not know how I got there or where i was. But then I spend 90% of my life lately in what feels like a dream state. Days feel like they are 4-5 days long but fast like a minute. If that makes any sense. At then end of the day its like I start to wake up then its bed time and I start the process all over again. The scary thing about realizing my dates where messed up is that I still feel inside it was the date I thought, not what the records show. I have to keep trying to convince myself that what I remember is not real. I have my apts next week I will mention this to both my therapist and doc.

 

[WillyKat]

Good. I hope your docs can tell you something more helpful than I can.

 

[Tympre]

I hope so too, but my hope is running out lol. I am trying to remain upbeat as this all came to head just a mere 6 months ago. I remember what my life was like before I snapped before the tsunami. Sometimes I wish I would forgot so I would not know how much I have lost.