hi. call me feli. i'm 20 years old. high school graduate, unemployed. up until about 11-12 years of age, i've been physically and verbally abused by my father who suffered from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. as a result, i have been diagnosed with ptsd since about 8th grade. i'm on sertraline, and i've come to realize that it is truly not helping. i have close friends online, but recently i've been having so many outbursts and being so hypervigilant in everyday interactions between us, trying to nip every problem in the bud as soon as it crops up, that it's becoming a burden to them and myself. i try and address "problems" that no one else notices or cares about, often times bluntly and aggressively as by the time i perceive the "problem" my stress is already rising. it gets so bad that i can feel my hands shaking as i type, and my heart racing.
I'm also avoiding seeking employment, not out of laziness, i WANT to get a job and earn money and move out on my own, but i just... can't ever make myself do what needs to be done. I don't really know what i want out of posting this here.. just.. some help, some clarity, some advice, anything... i'm just so sick of living like this but i'm so scared i'll never get better
I'm also avoiding seeking employment, not out of laziness, i WANT to get a job and earn money and move out on my own, but i just... can't ever make myself do what needs to be done. I don't really know what i want out of posting this here.. just.. some help, some clarity, some advice, anything... i'm just so sick of living like this but i'm so scared i'll never get better