Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[ms spock]

@Simply Simon - I really don't know, and if anyone has any ideas I would be interested to read them.

The only thing that I could think of is sharing how you are doing cognitive distortions in your own head and how you are disputing them. If you mentioned a thinking style per week and kept on with it talking it over with the person then perhaps it might permeate?

Ultimately you can't save anyone else, but my inner child believes it is my duty to save the world in order to justify my existence - so that might not be helpful for you either.

I guess setting a boundary and saying this is personalisation style of thinking - that means ... and I cannot talk to you today about it as I am doing it to myself - or whatever truth for you at that time - you are tired for example. I don't know how to manage this stuff so if you find a strategy that works for you I would be interested to know it.

For my partner I disagree with his thinking and say you are underestimating what being a full time carer for you elderly dementing father is doing to you - so I guess it is context specific.

If you could do it for groups of people - it could be interesting in terms of social change or intolerance change.

I am not that good at it but perhaps radical acceptance is a strategy?

 

[DharmaGirl]

ou may need your own thread and that is perfectly fine Link Removed, but if you wanted to discuss your distorted perceptions, thoughts and feelings and ideas here you are most welcome.

I did want to discuss distorted perceptions. I'm feeling a little invited out. I know what the thread was about. I feel really bad about it now, and will work on my distorted perceptions by myself.

 

[ms spock]

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.

I have been doing a lot of all or nothing thinking, rumination on that one, I have been engaging in over generalization, I have been disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, a lot of magnification about essay writing, emotional reasoning - highly skilled at that distorted cognition, should statements, mislabeling and personalization.

I have improved though, being aware of them means they are cutting down quite a lot - they are just life long habits that I have to work on to dispute.

 

[Kintsugi]

@DharmaGirl I think that was just a miscommunication. But hey, is there a distorted cognition lurking somewhere telling you that Spock's response was "inviting" you "out"? (I'm sincerely asking, not fishing, because I just woke up and my analytical brain isn't even fully engaged ;))

 

[The Albatross]

I think identifying cognitive distortions is a matter of effective listening and communication. If you and your partner or the other person don't have that established... well that makes it harder as it becomes much more personal and can de-evolve into a "take the log out of your own eye" sort of thing. It is a matter of the quality of the relationship... no so much the words. My own filter became something like (when receiving information/criticism... that felt like judgment ... Is this person a good willed or well intentioned person? Is this right/just/fair?" If the person isn't there... the first steps are trying to establish the bond for an opinion at all... well intentioned or not.

 

[Ronin]

Ditto @The Albatross.

I was massively misreading Anthony when I started posting on this site, just for people his style of responding coupled with appearance reminded me of, then had a moment of 'the f*ck am I even doing it's not -likely- someone doing so much for people daily would be this and that brat' and a lot of working on that.

 

[ms spock]

@DharmaGirl my intention was to be friendly and engaging. I was trying to be inclusive of you in this thread, but it seems that it didn't come across to you like that.

I didn't really understand what you were saying. I thought invited out meant more that you have been invited to many things lately, and so have too much going on to be involved in this thread.

I thought that this thread would take off a lot more than it did - it surprised me that so few people engaged with this thread. So I was trying to make you feel welcome without being pushy that you "should" be involved with this thread.

If you had given an example of your thinking I would have given it ago to write what distorted cognition were going on it the sample thinking.

I am not on the forum much at this time - except, really for the Mindfulness Challenge and my diary. I am not reading much else here. So I may have missed something else that is going on.

 

[ms spock]

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.

I have been doing a lot of this around my essay writing without really realising it.

 

[Eleanor]

I've been checking back in with this, tho not writing much because I've been pretty overwhelmed, but for the record reposting the list has been really helpful for me. In checking myself, and in trying to sort out what of what my H says is the reality and what is the distortion. I do a lot of personalization. Minimization is my go to coping strategy.... And I must say, I am wicked good at it.

 

[ms spock]

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.
4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)
6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.
7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.
9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.
10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.

-------------
I have been in an unconscious loop of these distorted thoughts without really realising I had gone back into freeze/fawn mode.

I got it though now.

 

[ms spock]

I am having real problems with my distorted cognitions at this time.

I have to break them down.

I have been doing magnification and minimization.

I have been jumping to conclusions.

I have been doing all or nothing thinking.

I have been doing labeling and mislabeling.

 

[ms spock]

I have really embedded "shoulds" in my head which paralyses me with perfectionism. I have all or nothing thinking that does the same. I am now more aware of them and that is the first step to identifying them and then challenging and disputing them. They were muted and feel like "common sense" thinking for me!