Need help with work situation

[CT_Girl]

On Friday I almost got hit by a car in the parking lot at work. I'm pretty sure the driver did this on purpose to get a reaction out of me. I can understand if you are backing up and not paying attention, but he was driving forward so I'm positive he saw me. Plus when I jumped out of the way I looked up and we made eye contact. I'm so stressed out about this. I know some people at work don't like me because I overheard some sexist comments about me (most of my coworkers are male because I work in manufacturing). So I think he did it on purpose to give me a hard time. I started parking in a different place in the parking lot and I'm also thinking about asking my boss to get transferred to a different location (my company has several locations/facilities). Am I overreacting? I need advice on whether this a good way of dealing with this.

 

[Muted]

I think if you felt threatened that it was a good choice to park somewhere else. Did he ever apologize to you? If not, maybe he's trying to intimidate you. It doesn't sound like just an accident, but if for whatever reason he didn't see you and it was, you would think he wouId at least apologize. I would probably wait and see if anything else happens because if no one else saw it happen it's your word against his. I would document it though.

It's not overreacting to be alert and aware. As far as being transferred for one (let's just say) 'unprovable offense', personally I wouldn't. This is why: if he's in the wrong why should YOU have to be transferred?, also if he's that maliscious and you leave he's only going to do it to someone else, lastly unless you absolutely 100+% trust your company to protect you...they'll likely find some way to get rid of you and you may find yourself in a way worse working environment until you're so miserable you simply give up and quit. If you're overhearing sexist comments about you I would fully document all of those too.

If you feel like things are continuing to get worse I would call an attorney before reporting it to your employer, because just from my experiences employers only take anything and everything from you, but in the end they don't have your back or care about your safety or wellbeing.

Also, please please please meet with at least two attorney's before making any decisions. If someone forces you to make a decision that day or they won't take your case, run away!!! We were emotionally and verbally abused by a lawyer like that and it only multiplied the trauma in a major way. Choose someone that feels completely safe and someone you trust.

I wish you the best!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

also if he's that maliscious and you leave he's only going to do it to someone else,

In my opinion, thats not fair. Sort of places that responaiblity on them when it is the employer's responsibilty.

@CT_Girl, I would document every single thing that happened and go to your supervisor to make a report. All of what you said is against the law. At least the sexist comments. It isnt over reacting at all and whether it was on purpose or not you feel unsafe and your saftey is the upmost important. You don't need to consult a lawyer in my opinion. Even in this right to work State, they can't fire you for reporting sexist comments and must fire you for legal reasons like low proformance. They can lie about why you were fired but if all proformance is good and no other reason to fire you then that would be illegal. If you are fired for reporting it, you would have a great legal case.

I would document everything though for sure. And ask to be transfered if you feel safer.

Hope that helps!

 

[anthony]

Am I overreacting? I need advice on whether this a good way of dealing with this.

Look... in most countries, any type of nudging someone with a car, is an offence. Cars are weapons and they kill, regardless the intent behind it.

Unless he admits it though... he said, she said. I would still report it to your boss though. Do they have CCTV footage of the car park? If so... ask for it.

 

[Muted]

In my opinion, thats not fair. Sort of places that responaiblity on them when it is the employer's responsibilty.

I see your point on that @lostforgottensoul .
Just to look at it from a little different viewpoint, what would you say if it were sexual assault?

Even if he wasn't successful in nudging you, because you moved out of way. I do have to retract and agree with @anthony as far as you do have to report it to your supervisor first. If your supervisor is the one who has harmed or attempted to harm you... well then, I guess you have to go above them.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

what would you say if it were sexual assault?

The same thing. Especially if it were sexual assult. I would fight it with the police and wouldn't stay around just to keep them abusing me and to prevent them from moving on to someone else. Thats not fair to place that responsiblity on me and probably wouldn't stop them from abusing others anyway.

 

[Muted]

I'm sorry if you thought I was specifically directing that at you. It was only a hypothetical question.

If only I could speak, but I can't so never mind.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Gia1019, sorry, thought it was a direct question.

Anyway, back on topic, @CT_Girl, I would def write it all down and report the sexist comment. I agree with Anthony that its rather he said/she said thing when it comes to the car. It could, its possible, to have been on accident. So its not something I personally would report but the sexist comments are. Depending I suppose. And theres no hurt to transfer I dont think.

Just some thoughts.

 

[CT_Girl]

Thanks everyone I appreciate your advice

 

[Suzetig]

On Friday I almost got hit by a car in the parking lot at work. I'm pretty sure the driver did this on purpose to get a reaction out of me.

What do you mean by almost? Did it almost hit you or did you need to stop, change direction etc or did the driver stop the car in time? Did the driver acknowledge you at the time?

Is it possible that you're ascribing motive that wasn't there? You say the workplace is hostile, is there any suggestion that folk have it in for you personally as opposed to it being a male dominated environment. If there are sexiest and bullying behaviours id record them and report them through the usual workplace processes.

My reason for asking is that car parks are notorious for accidents because people often don't think of them as roadways, often drive while distracted e.g. turning on the radio, sorting their seat belt or looking to get out and just don't notice pedestrians. It sounds like you're assuming the driver knew it was you, wanted to intimidate you and purposely drove towards you when, in the absence of any evidence to the contrary, he might just have been not paying attention to the road. And he didn't hit you, so I'm not sure there's been an offence committed here.

It would be wise to keep your distance when parking if you feel intimidated but changing work location without any evidence to suggest he was aiming for you is, I think, an overreaction. It's a serious thing to suggest someone intended to hit you with their car and if I were the driver I'd expect a full investigation before any decision about relocation was made as otherwise it looks like folk have assumed he meant it.

 

[CT_Girl]

I decided to just tough it out at work until summer is over, I just moved recently and I want to get settled into my apartment before I change my work situation or raise any complaints with my boss. At the end of the summer I will think about the situation again. Thanks again for everyone's help