Nervous About Therapy Tomorrow

[FindingMyself88]

Ok, I feel extremely stupid for feeling nervous about therapy tomorrow, but I am. In the same boat, I would go insane if I had to wait one more day to see my T since it has been a month now due to circumstances beyond our control and SO much has happened…but thats the thing, SOOO much has happened.

One I am afraid that an hour session will not be long enough and then I will be forced to wait another week. She's a university counselor, so I don't think they can do 2 sessions in one week plus I don't like asking for things. secondly and mostly, I am afraid I won't be able to get out my true feelings, that I will just go in there like I normally do, say whats been going on, and thats it. I know several of you have suggested telling her I have a hard time putting words to what I feel and whats in my head, but I'm afraid we won't be able to get through that this session and I am so overwhelmed with emotions and issues. My medication has started to help some, where I can at least sleep 6 hours again, but the torment emotionally is horrible! I just can't afford for tomorrow to be a typical session and I am so afraid I will leave and be even more disappointed.

Does anyone else have a problem getting the emotions out of your head to your therapist? Like I said, i can tell her what happened, but not really how it made me feel. Sure, I may say it upset me or I had a panic attack, but I can't address the feelings and emotions I'm battling…Any advice would be great..

So sorry to keep posting guys, this is just a really hard time for me right now..

 

[arfie]

However you say it or explain it, I think it fully natural. In my own case, I think it was hard believing I would be able to get the healing train back on its track.

Just keep chugging, FM. Deep breaths.

 

[Bedbug]

Write some things down. It might help you now as well as during the session tomorrow. Let your therapist see what you have written, or at least let her see that you have brought something written with you. It might help to make the session more productive.

 

[katiekat]

I think you can and should ask for another session this week and I don't think you should worry about asking because clearly an entire month has gone by without a way to see her. I bet a lot of people are in the same boat as you, so the sooner you can try to schedule an extra session the better. A lot of people go to therapy more than once a week, and it's not something you need to feel bad about at all. You are going through a lot, ask for the help you need.

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thanks everyone for the support.. @Bedbug I am going to use this advice and right it all down, because too much has happened

@katiekat I will try, I always have a hard time asking for what I need. I even feel so bad when I email her in-between sessions

 

[katiekat]

I bet your therapist already knows this about you, so maybe you can just surprise the both of you and just bite the bullet and ask for an extra session. It's honestly not a big deal, and if for some reason it doesn't work out, ask your therapist what you need to do to see her more often. It's probably just as simple as scheduling far enough in advance. And tell her so much has happened that you want to email her (if you can't get another session).

I think you are actually good at asserting yourself in a way. You took the appropriate steps to block phone contact of a person who is inappropriate, you come on here and say how you feel and you are asking US for help and advice. For me, it's often easier to pour my heart out through writing, maybe the same thing is true for you. If so, utilize that method with your therapist. Mine actually welcomed me to email him between sessions because he realizes that it takes me a day or so to process my feelings about what we talk about in therapy. Often I am unable to know how I feel about things during therapy and he is aware of that. I bet you can relate.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I will try. I know she encourages journaling a lot and bringing it in. I think I am going to start off tomorrow telling her that I'm nervous about session and why. I may try making that list into more of a journal, especially the issues that have caused flashbacks.

Thank you for encouragement. And actually with that family member I blocked, I unblocked him the next day because I didn't want any problems :/.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I also take a day or so to process what we talk about. Sometimes I wish I could record what she says just to help me because when I am upset, I typically don't remember.

 

[katiekat]

Can I encourage you to put yourself first and keep that creep blocked? I don't have any major sexual trauma but my good friends husband used to send me dirty "joke" texts that were really disturbing, inappropriate, and not funny to me. I ended up (after a whole year of these texts) telling my friend her husband needed to stop. It was taken fine by her and there are no hard feelings. It's been nice to not have to worry about seeing some gross STD dong pop up on my screen every time I check my phone!!

 

[Justmehere]

A month long break is huge! I think it would make a lot of sense to need two sessions, even if a lot did not happen.

I struggle with the same thing - getting past the who, what, where of events and getting to the heart of the emotions I am feeling. Sometimes, I don't even have the words for that. Sometimes I can talk about the events, and I just... I don't feel what I feel outside of therapy about those events.

I am trying something new now in therapy and starting off just stating "I am feeling angry..." or "I am feeling pressured and nervous." It takes a lot of journaling sometimes for me to even figure out that is what I am feeling. At my last session I told her, "I am feeling pressured and nervous about trying to make this session productive."

My goal for tomorrow is to tell my therapist: "I want to let go more, but I am scared. Can you help me with this?" I have tried to tell her this three times... now, I am going to go in and just hand it to her on paper. It feels really foolish, but... I dunno.

I wish I had advice for how to handle this better, but I am struggling through it myself. I just wanted to say that I can deeply related to feeling nervous for therapy, and I haven't even had a month long break. You are not alone in this at all.

I hope it goes well for you tomorrow!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think #1 on your list should be working on self assertion. You just opened yourself up to more abuse because you care more about keeping the peace than your own well being.

 

[FindingMyself88]

@katiekat It will be a topic discussed tomorrow or next session for sure. I've been ignoring him, but it just keeps upsetting me when he calls. But then again I haven't told him not too.. @Solara We have worked on that over the 1 1/2 year of therapy, but its something that is very hard to accomplish when your whole life you were not allowed to assert an opinion, or it didn't matter. Or when you were beat for asserting it…It also makes it worse when you still love the people despite what they did to you..I have had moments of success with this and I am definitely better than I was. A year ago I couldn't have ignored his calls and I wouldn't be complaining about it here. But I know I still have a long way to go.

@Justmehere thank you for your support and its nice to know I'm not alone even though I hate you deal with this too. I think I am going to show her my journal entries from this week to start it..