Justmehere
Sponsor
I am trying to get an independent evaluation done by a therapist who is not my trauma therapist. I need to do this in order to return to school and finish my degree. I have a great trauma therapist, but I feel more comfortable having the evaluation come from someone not connected to my trauma. My trauma therapist says she is willing to help in they eval, supports me going back to school, and is ok with my decision to keep my work with her separate from this.
I went to a therapist that my insurance company referred me to in order to get the evaluation. This therapist, let's call her therapist G, said that if she could not help, she would help my insurance company understand what I need. She has met with me for two sessions.
It has been a nightmare. G was 20 minutes late for the first appointment. She was going over on time with her previous client. She told me that this happens all the time and that is why when I arrive, I should knock on the door. The sound of knocking on doors used to be a huge trigger of mine. It's not so bad anymore, but it still feels like in invading the session of other people to knock, and feels like I'm being invaded when other people knock on the door when I'm in session. My trauma therapist always says it is her job to manage the time, it is my job to do the other hard work of therapy. Am I unreasonable to think this would apply outside of trauma therapy too?
I didn't tell G about this. Not yet anyhow. In the first session she disclosed to me that she feels panicky when talking about my insurance company. I agree it is a hard company to deal with, but when I told her they sometimes make me nervous to deal with and I hope you can help me with that in terms of getting this eval done.... She said to me, "I accept payment from them as a provider, and I'm glad to help, and I can relate to how you feel about them. I feel a little panicky myself right now." Then she told me how she failed an audit by them, and expects to be reaudited any day. She then explained she will be taking extra detailed notes because of this pending new audit that she feels a lot of pressure about. The first session was supposed to be an hour, but it went an hour and a half.
During the second session she told me that she vaguely knows with disassociation is, but she wouldn't know what to do about it. She says the only technique she uses In therapy is "talking and yoga techniques."
In the middle of the session, she asked me if I was hungry. I said no... She said she felt REALLY hungry. She asked if it was ok if she ate. I said sure, and it was kind ok in the moment. Now that I look back, I didn't like it. We spent 5 minutes with her yammering on about protein bars and trying to offer me one repeatedly. I didn't want to eat in session. So she have me one to eat later. My service dog stared at her while she ate. Then she asked me how she could find more resources on service dogs for her other clients. Then she said it would be bad boundaries if she asked me to train a dog for them. Um yeah...
She then asked about family history, trauma history and what I was doing this weekend. I shared only what I was ok sharing.
At the end of the second session she hugged me. She didn't ask, she just full on hugged me. Not a side hug either. I'm not against hugging, it didn't trigger me, but I didn't like it. I hug friends. I have a few colleagues that I have hugged (they have offered first) and it's mostly an ok thing.
But a therapist hugging me? Without asking? On the rare occasion I'm not fighting how much I'm scared of my trauma therapist, or rather the trauma therapy work we do, I do occasionally want a hug from my trauma therapist... But never so much as to even ask, let alone actually accept a hug from my trauma therapist. But G, she just up and hugged me as I stood up to walk out. I didn't even get a step towards the door. I was so confused I half hugged back for a nanosecond with one arm and then stared at the floor and ran out.
Both sessions with therapist G were scheduled for an hour and started 20-30 minutes late and went over on time by another 30 minutes. She was visibly anxious and self disclosed significant info in the second session. I really didn't need to hear about her camping fears just before I go camping myself...
Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to tell my insurance that therapist G needs to go back to therapy school, and probably therapy. They are telling me I need to keep seeing her before they will approve sending me to a psychologist for a more formal eval.
I appreciate my private trauma therapist (who bills through victims comp and self pay, and not my insurance) more than ever. I am in tears, feeling so grateful for a therapist who knows how trauma injures, and how to heal, inside and out. she has boundaries too unlike therapist G!
Ugh. Why did therapist G just hug me like that?
Needing to vent. Also wondering if my reaction is too strong, or not strong enough. Therapist G has automatically scheduled me for next week. I either have to put up with her or talk to my insurance - who did audit her and she failed that audit. But they still sent me two letters reffering me to her specifically.
P.s. Sorry for the child-ish title. I think my inner kid is a little irked and stirred up.
I went to a therapist that my insurance company referred me to in order to get the evaluation. This therapist, let's call her therapist G, said that if she could not help, she would help my insurance company understand what I need. She has met with me for two sessions.
It has been a nightmare. G was 20 minutes late for the first appointment. She was going over on time with her previous client. She told me that this happens all the time and that is why when I arrive, I should knock on the door. The sound of knocking on doors used to be a huge trigger of mine. It's not so bad anymore, but it still feels like in invading the session of other people to knock, and feels like I'm being invaded when other people knock on the door when I'm in session. My trauma therapist always says it is her job to manage the time, it is my job to do the other hard work of therapy. Am I unreasonable to think this would apply outside of trauma therapy too?
I didn't tell G about this. Not yet anyhow. In the first session she disclosed to me that she feels panicky when talking about my insurance company. I agree it is a hard company to deal with, but when I told her they sometimes make me nervous to deal with and I hope you can help me with that in terms of getting this eval done.... She said to me, "I accept payment from them as a provider, and I'm glad to help, and I can relate to how you feel about them. I feel a little panicky myself right now." Then she told me how she failed an audit by them, and expects to be reaudited any day. She then explained she will be taking extra detailed notes because of this pending new audit that she feels a lot of pressure about. The first session was supposed to be an hour, but it went an hour and a half.
During the second session she told me that she vaguely knows with disassociation is, but she wouldn't know what to do about it. She says the only technique she uses In therapy is "talking and yoga techniques."
In the middle of the session, she asked me if I was hungry. I said no... She said she felt REALLY hungry. She asked if it was ok if she ate. I said sure, and it was kind ok in the moment. Now that I look back, I didn't like it. We spent 5 minutes with her yammering on about protein bars and trying to offer me one repeatedly. I didn't want to eat in session. So she have me one to eat later. My service dog stared at her while she ate. Then she asked me how she could find more resources on service dogs for her other clients. Then she said it would be bad boundaries if she asked me to train a dog for them. Um yeah...
She then asked about family history, trauma history and what I was doing this weekend. I shared only what I was ok sharing.
At the end of the second session she hugged me. She didn't ask, she just full on hugged me. Not a side hug either. I'm not against hugging, it didn't trigger me, but I didn't like it. I hug friends. I have a few colleagues that I have hugged (they have offered first) and it's mostly an ok thing.
But a therapist hugging me? Without asking? On the rare occasion I'm not fighting how much I'm scared of my trauma therapist, or rather the trauma therapy work we do, I do occasionally want a hug from my trauma therapist... But never so much as to even ask, let alone actually accept a hug from my trauma therapist. But G, she just up and hugged me as I stood up to walk out. I didn't even get a step towards the door. I was so confused I half hugged back for a nanosecond with one arm and then stared at the floor and ran out.
Both sessions with therapist G were scheduled for an hour and started 20-30 minutes late and went over on time by another 30 minutes. She was visibly anxious and self disclosed significant info in the second session. I really didn't need to hear about her camping fears just before I go camping myself...
Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to tell my insurance that therapist G needs to go back to therapy school, and probably therapy. They are telling me I need to keep seeing her before they will approve sending me to a psychologist for a more formal eval.
I appreciate my private trauma therapist (who bills through victims comp and self pay, and not my insurance) more than ever. I am in tears, feeling so grateful for a therapist who knows how trauma injures, and how to heal, inside and out. she has boundaries too unlike therapist G!
Ugh. Why did therapist G just hug me like that?
Needing to vent. Also wondering if my reaction is too strong, or not strong enough. Therapist G has automatically scheduled me for next week. I either have to put up with her or talk to my insurance - who did audit her and she failed that audit. But they still sent me two letters reffering me to her specifically.
P.s. Sorry for the child-ish title. I think my inner kid is a little irked and stirred up.
