Non-trauma Therapist Hugged Me. I Do Not Like It.

[Deleted member 12723]

I think you need to complain about her and insist on getting another qualified therapist to use. Incompetent.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I was waiting for Groucho Marx to figure into the therapy, it's so wrong, it's laughable. What a collosal waste of your time. I have a degree in Social and Language Development and I had a lot of classmates headed into social work. 80% of them had no intention of working with anyone but the "worried well". They were dumb as dirt. Add to that incompetent professors that were mysoginists and I really appreciated the wonderful psychologist I was seeing. They'll let anybody be a therapist, they don't have protocols for anything. And then to make you beg for services, that's just shoveling sand against the tide.

I am so sorry you had to put up with her. I am opposed to any touch between client and therapist. Unless you just won the lottery. Turn her in and move on. I can't believe the barriers the mental health system has.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Wow, what a lot to deal with. The whole hug thing screams wrong in general. I would never want to hug someone I've only met twice- at least I can't think of a time when I would. And generally if you don't know a person well, you ask before you hug. Obviously this woman has some serious issues in general.

 

[scout86]

There's not much I can add, except a vote for your reaction being fine. There's a good chance I'd have hit her if she did that to me. THAT might be an over reaction. The knocking on the door business is a terrible idea! (She sounds like she needs to hire some good office help!)

 

[BloomInWinter]

She has so many issues I would move on. I would lodge a constructive criticism complaint with her supervisor if you feel up to it. She can't improve if everyone just leaves, but sometimes moving on is just better.

Trust your instincts and feelings as accurate. Don't explain them away. Your feelings are there to keep you safe and they sound right on for the situation.

Sheesh. She is really out there on the deep end.

 

[StarChild]

G was 20 minutes late for the first appointment. She was going over on time with her previous client. She told me that this happens all the time and that is why when I arrive, I should knock on the door.

No, it's simply her job, to manage the time / sessions with her clients. It's unprofessional to shift her responsibility for this onto you! Please remember what your trauma therapist told you:

My trauma therapist always says it is her job to manage the time, it is my job to do the other hard work of therapy.

Therapist G has automatically scheduled me for next week. I either have to put up with her or talk to my insurance

Dear Justmehere, third possibility: Would it be possible for you, to send your trauma therapist an email with a copy of what you described to us? I think she really should know what happened to you. Maybe she can help, or has knowledge of where to look or who to ask for another therapist who can do the independent evaluation? I don't think it's healthy for you to have to be exposed to such a "therapist" one more time.

 

[shell]

She is totally unprofessional, no wonder she failed a previous audit.

 

[Justmehere]

Wow, thank you everyone for the support, validation, and suggestions.

I read them all, but couldn't respond sooner due to a brief camping trip. Now I'm back, and I look back on this experience with therapist G, and it's so bad it's almost funny. I feel grateful that she has been this bad from the get-go, before I became too emotionally involved.

This therapist needs more supervision and training. Most therapists I know have clocks somewhere that they can see. One T I met with had a clock under the couch, so that she could see the clock without her clients taking it the wrong way. This therapist has one clock in the room, BEHIND her. Clearly she knows that she needs to be on time, but she doesn't know that having clients keep track of the time for her really screws up the process.

And hugging? and all the self disclosure? yikes. She seems like a very sweet person. Therapy was her second career (she told me about her return to school to become a therapist.)

I looked into some information, and as it stands now, she is likely to lose her next audit. With my insurance company, she is required to complete certain paperwork and have the client sign it by the end of the second session. We have not done anything like it.

I don't want her to get into trouble, but I also am concerned about her being a therapist right now. I don't know if reporting her many lapses in proper therapy practices is something I want to engage, other than letting my insurance company know that this is not going to work for me.

I am scheduled to see her again this week. She booked me every Thursday for the next two months. If I go, it will be to tell her why I am not going to continue this process with her and to ask her to ask my insurance for a referral to someone else with the right skill set for PTSD. This is actually the option I most prefer. It does come with some risk.

Calling my insurance company seems like a really good idea too. I am going to call them first thing on Monday. It will be an intense battle to get them to let me see someone else. I will likely have to take it to the office of administrative courts - something I have done before in the past It's a formal appeal process my state has, only it's done with real judges, but in the style of an administrative meeting. It is a process I have done before, and won, easily. In my state it is legal to tape therapy sessions without the therapist knowing. I taped the first session. Right or wrong, it helps me feel safe as someone who endured a therapist who went to prision for what he did (long story, another topic.) I could just play the tape of the therapist freaking out about my insurance company and saying she didn't know what to do for my diagnosis.

I would prefer to work with and through this therapist to get the same result: a new therapist.

I think I will write therapist G a letter and either mail it or go in and read it to her about why I need her to refer me to someone else. Does this sound like a bad idea?

 

[scout86]

It sounds like a good idea to me. It also sounds way more organized and professional that the way she operates. I'm really impressed with the calm way you seem to be handling this!