I got fired from my job for medical marijuana while I was attending college for that job. I changed my major to something completely different and decided to work at a restaurant in the evenings while I attend school during the day.
My job is hell on earth. I hate it. Not only do I have to deal with terrible, entitled, pushy customers, but I have to deal with rude, self-absorbed coworkers. I do this six days a week.
So with full-time school and working six days a week, I feel as though I am neglecting my cat who lives in our "guest house" because my boyfriend is mildly allergic and we have a dog that is not cat-friendly.
Then, my boyfriend decides to enlighten me on his thoughts on marriage. When we first met a few years ago, I told him my goal was to get married and he agreed. Well, I should have talked about it more because I am just now finding out that he plans on us "living life together first" and then get married at the last minute. My idea is get married first then live our life together. But, speaking to him about it, he just accuses me of wanting to start a fight which is his way of avoiding the discussion altogether. I can't afford to move out.
I know my mental health is not where it should be because I started to have a drink every night which would be okay if I did not have an early-to-rise, late-to-bed schedule but then I realized that I eventually could not stop myself from binge drinking. The last time I could not control my drinking was when my abuser died, and I would consume large amounts of alcohol to the point I had to put away alcohol for about a year before I could socially drink again. And when I was with the job that fired me, I would only occasionally drink, never had the need to drink every day.
When I drink, I get angry, and I fight with my boyfriend which is tearing us apart and making things worse.
This job I have makes me hate myself because no matter what, I am always a piece of sh*t, to someone, somewhere, and I can never not be. If I'm not a pos to a customer, I'm a pos to a coworker. I even tried to be the bigger person and apologize for something I didn't feel I did wrong, but it didn't work. I just simply was reprimanded by a coworker (not even the boss) for saying something that he took wrong. No matter what I do, or where I go, if it be at work, home, on the road, at the store, I am faced with people who hate me. My depression is getting worse, I am having suicidal ideation, I am angry, and because people hate me and are only out for themselves, f*ck everyone else, I hate them, too.
Even though I can't afford it, I've scheduled an appointment with my therapist who I haven't seen in a while due to losing my job with insurance. I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel rushed when there is nothing to rush about, I'm anxious that my life is about to collapse in on itself and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
My job is hell on earth. I hate it. Not only do I have to deal with terrible, entitled, pushy customers, but I have to deal with rude, self-absorbed coworkers. I do this six days a week.
So with full-time school and working six days a week, I feel as though I am neglecting my cat who lives in our "guest house" because my boyfriend is mildly allergic and we have a dog that is not cat-friendly.
Then, my boyfriend decides to enlighten me on his thoughts on marriage. When we first met a few years ago, I told him my goal was to get married and he agreed. Well, I should have talked about it more because I am just now finding out that he plans on us "living life together first" and then get married at the last minute. My idea is get married first then live our life together. But, speaking to him about it, he just accuses me of wanting to start a fight which is his way of avoiding the discussion altogether. I can't afford to move out.
I know my mental health is not where it should be because I started to have a drink every night which would be okay if I did not have an early-to-rise, late-to-bed schedule but then I realized that I eventually could not stop myself from binge drinking. The last time I could not control my drinking was when my abuser died, and I would consume large amounts of alcohol to the point I had to put away alcohol for about a year before I could socially drink again. And when I was with the job that fired me, I would only occasionally drink, never had the need to drink every day.
When I drink, I get angry, and I fight with my boyfriend which is tearing us apart and making things worse.
This job I have makes me hate myself because no matter what, I am always a piece of sh*t, to someone, somewhere, and I can never not be. If I'm not a pos to a customer, I'm a pos to a coworker. I even tried to be the bigger person and apologize for something I didn't feel I did wrong, but it didn't work. I just simply was reprimanded by a coworker (not even the boss) for saying something that he took wrong. No matter what I do, or where I go, if it be at work, home, on the road, at the store, I am faced with people who hate me. My depression is getting worse, I am having suicidal ideation, I am angry, and because people hate me and are only out for themselves, f*ck everyone else, I hate them, too.
Even though I can't afford it, I've scheduled an appointment with my therapist who I haven't seen in a while due to losing my job with insurance. I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel rushed when there is nothing to rush about, I'm anxious that my life is about to collapse in on itself and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
