Not sure how to get through today

[SeekingAfrica]

I'm having a day. One of those days that on top of already being sick-lish this week, something goes wrong all the time. Unrelated problems, few times, in one day, all important things, leading to me being so stressed I forgot something important as well.

It's one of those days that I keep telling myself to keep going, and then something more happens. And now I've been crying so much through a panic attack that my head hurts. And everything in me wonders how will things ever get better. And I know this is just a feeling. I know I should let it go until tomorrow and try to remember its temporary and it's so hard.

I know there are such days, but it feels like my world is crashing around me and I have no way of stopping it. I know it's just a day, it has to be just a day, but I'm finding it so hard to feel normal and logical right now. I'm not giving up, I'll never give up, but not giving up doesn't mean I know how to make things better, not at all....

 

[MrMoonlight]

I hear you @SeekingAfrica and I'm with you.

And everything in me wonders how will things ever get better.

I heard it put beautifully on the site, too bad I can remember the words but you are in the act of healing right now. Those those tears and feelings are all part of the healing.

So sorry you are in this place right now.

 

[Still Standing]

Ugh! ...One of those days. Had one myself this week. They are so hard to deal with. Are you able to get out and go somewhere? Get out of the environment you are currently in? Can you take a long ride, get a cup of coffee and just sit and watch people? Go to a Zoo or an Aquarium where distractions abound? Distractions are my "go-tos. Usually, it is a long ride or going fishing. The cycle of the "black hole" needs to be broken. And we are the only ones who can do that...I know...it is that last thing you want to hear. It is too hard to motivate one's self when the dark clouds descend on us. I am sooooo sorry that you are struggling right now. I truly am. I wish there were some way to help you walk this day out into something more light and encouraging. As you mentioned, it is temporary, but when actively caught in it, it is hard to see the light at the end of the bout. I hope this is a short one and you will be on top of it soon. :hug:

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Ugh! ...One of those days. Had one myself this week. They are so hard to deal with. A...

Thank you! It's kind of late so going out isn't good idea right now. But I did have to get up to make dinner and at least I stopped crying. I still have no idea how I'll get through, but it's a step.

but you are in the act of healing right now. Those those tears and feelings are all part of the healing.

Thank you! I know, if I can get through this somehow I'll grow from it. But it's been a year with a lot of such days, and it's so tiring. I'll try to reframe how I feel, I will, I'm just having a really weak moment...

 

[Hopeforlife]

Sending you lots of strength @SeekingAfrica. Its exhausting when many days like this feel on top of each other. :hug: You have functioned enough to make dinner, cry a bit out and write on here! That’s good...don’t be to hard on yourself.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Sending you lots of strength @SeekingAfrica. Its exhausting when many days like...

I also managed to have 20min workout and 30min more working even with all the crying...It doesn't feel like that matters though, it doesn't seems like that's enough. It feels like I'm failing at being a normal human being because I couldn't finish the rest of my todo list for the day, and because there are so many issues I can't solve right now.

I'm in a really dark place, so I'm trying to distract myself. Youtube and motivational videos and TV shows and such until it's time for bed. It's not the most enlightened thing, but it's best I can do right now. Any time I stop, any time I'm close to thinking of all the todos and problems, I feel like I'll burst into tears again(actually I did few times). I feel like I'm in a nightmare and I just want to wake up few months later. So yeah. Maybe distraction has to be okay for tonight. Maybe I should start fresh tomorrow.