I need to get through today

[SeekingAfrica]

Does anyone feel on such days not in control of what you do??
Like I shouldn't bother anyone but I can't stop myself from writing someone even if i know my currentstate is illogical.. Or I shouldn't ask an ex for loan but I need food. Or I should cook but I'm craving whatever it is and besides cooking in this mood I'll burn the house down...

You have so much on your plate and it's heavy and no wonder you are exhausted, it is exhausting.

This is something I really needed to hear, thank you! Well your whole post really, it was calming.

 

[Ecdysis]

Haha, thanks...

You could view it this way: I'm in hospital, which is intensely boring and I've brought my laptop along so I have something, anything to do other than watch mindless hospital TV channels... and to distract myself...

I've got a slipped disc and it's impinging one of my nerves in a dodgy way and they need to check whether I need surgery or not... I was a bit freaked out at first, but I'm doing okay now. Also thanks to the pain-med drip making me relaxed and dozy... I think I find out Monday about whether surgery or not... You can help me by crossing your fingers for me, if you like... I'd prefer no surgery...

Hope you find the meditation technique soothing a bit

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I can't do this, I need to finish up this week and leave for my parents, I am stuck in dysfunctional here and I'm unproductive and I need money. So I need to be stronger, I need to be better but I can't here constantly afraid of my debt. I need to get home and I Don't know if I'll have the money for ticket home before she kicks me our and I'm not dying to wait for last moment, I just need to go..

What do I do? I pulled my last favors this month and not having anticipated all of this I now don't have money to go home or whom to ask. I have a little for food and my ptsd meds and even if I could go without that for a while it's not enough for the ticket. And I have almost nothing to sell so.... what do I do? Work8ng here is not getting better, I'm getting depressed and all the time weighting doing tasks against self harm instead and I know this is not the way but what is the way???

Everyone on here was right, especially @Friday I think, I should have left earlier. Tomorrow I'm dropping off few more boxes with a friend , finishing errands and maybe I could get what I canready by end of the week but I still won't have funds to go. And I need to work on having funds the week I arrive and so on, but I need a plan for that....

I'm freaking out. I need out of here, I'm in crisis, I need to be home ASAP and I'm not sure how,imfreaking out.....

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Haha, thanks...

You could view it this way: I'm in hospital, which is intensely boring and I've brought my laptop along so I have something, anything to do other than watch mindless hospital TV channels... and to distract myself...

I've got a slipped disc and it's impinging one of my nerves in a dodgy way and they need to check whether I need surgery or not... I was a bit freaked out at first, but I'm doing okay now. Also thanks to the pain-med drip making me relaxed and dozy... I think I find out Monday about whether surgery or not... You can help me by crossing your fingers for me, if you like... I'd prefer no surgery...

Hope you find the meditation technique soothing a bit

I'll be crossing my fingers that you don't need surgery! Hoping you're feeling better today.