Panic Panic Panic

[Casey_03]

Sorry for constantly posting about pregnancy, but that's all my life is about right now ... so here's another one (I just need to vent and maybe find out whether or not this is normal?) I'm in a panic, suddenly, out of nowhere. I am at 28 weeks now and so still, theoretically, have a considerable time to go and time to prepare ... but I am convinced ... CONVINCED .. that the baby will come very very early. And this is causing me to freak out. I myself was born two months early and premature birth seems to run in my family. Combined with all the stress of my pregnancy and my high blood pressure, it seems guaranteed this will happen early. How early? I don't know. But the thought of it coming when it's least expected terrifies me and is causing me great anxiety ... maybe I am not the only one to have this fear?

 

[Ronin]

Sorry for constantly posting about pregnancy

You're expected to be constantly posting about pregnancy, Casey. You're not doing it nearly often enough, I'd expect more. :sneaky::hug:

But the thought of it coming when it's least expected terrifies me

Have you talked to a gyn over this? As in that fear is understandable but to have checked if there's more basis for it in your case concretely, other than family history and nagging fears?

that the baby will come very very early.

Can you prepare for it? Emergency contacts & how to get to the hospital, things like that?

 

[Casey_03]

@Cashew My fears are exacerbated by the fact that I have a terrible -- and I mean terrible -- doctor. She doesn't listen to any of my concerns and just dismisses them with stupid comments like "but you're pregnant, you should be happy and enjoy the sunshine!" That is quite literally how a recent conversation went, when I told her I wanted her to test for certain bacterial infections that can cause stillbirth. I had made my concerns very clear and said point blankly "I want to be tested for this for peace of mind, and even if it is a long shot, I'd rather not risk a stillbirth if it can be prevented." She responded by shaking her head at me and saying "Oh dear, you shouldn't worry so much. You are blessed with this baby by God!" I get the impression she is not even a qualified doctor, because she responds to all of my concerns with idiotic comments like that instead of anything remotely useful or scientific. I would find a new doctor but the system here is weird -- I had to sign a contract just to get treatment the first time, and I've already paid a considerable amount of money. I got the same response from her when asked about premature labor -- she just said "oh, don't worry" and wouldn't even comment on how likely it is in light of my family history, stress, etc.
I am doing my best to prepare for it -- have just gone on an online shopping rampage and ordered a bunch of stuff I will need - have the crib, now will have baby clothes, blankets, stroller, sling, etc. The main issue is that my situation at work means I will have to leave for a week or two very soon (in order to get the visa I need to get residency, I have to leave the country). So, my fear is that if I go into labor when I am traveling, I will be screwed, and the baby will have very slim chances of survival if he is both early and born when I am in the midst of traveling.

 

[Ronin]

@Casey_03, and would it be possible to find a medic or nurse companion for that time? Travel groups & social sites have people looking for all sorts of travel companionship, so I was wondering if you could find someone remotely decent with a purpose in mind (I'm aware how risky a suggestion that is, just brainstorming).

 

[Deleted member 33023]

Hi Casey. I' so sorry that you are feeling this way. I too have had difficult pregnancies. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 20. I had one ovary removed and the other operated to remove some cysts but was not sure if it would be fully functional. I finally gave birth after eight years and my son was born at 27 weeks. He was born at 2 pounds 8 ounces. He is now very healthy happy son. My daughter born two years later. She too was a high risk pregnancy and I actually went into labor at 20 weeks. I was on bedrest but guess what? I have a gorgeous 18 year old daughter. Please don't over worry. The stress you are experiencing is not good for you or your baby. Really try to rest and relax. I found out that the reason I went into pre-term labor at 20 weeks with my daughter was stress (my father threw a hammer at my head that morning and went through the wall), as my blood pressure was over 200/150. So, if I knew then what I know now is that this type of stress is not our friend.

Please speak with your doctor. Call them over and over, they are used to it. I did all the time. If the doctor or nurses are making you feel uninformed keep asking. I hope this helps. In the end it is all okay now no matter how bad it was then.

 

[scout86]

Does your sadly idiotic Dr know you're going to have to make a trip? Maybe there's reason for doing some "extra" (in her mind) checking not only because of your family history but because you're going to have to be out of town? Out of the country, for that matter.

So, my fear is that if I go into labor when I am traveling, I will be screwed, and the baby will have very slim chances of survival if he is both early and born when I am in the midst of traveling.

I guess that depends on where you're going to be and how things work there. In most countries, there are going to be hospitals and I would hope they'd take care of keeping people alive and sort out the paperwork later. But I'm sure that doesn't happen in all countries. How much do you know about what's going to be available during the trip?

On a happier note, I have a niece who was born at 25 weeks. She's 20 now and in college and fine. Lots of time in the NICU though. She gave a couple days notice that she was planning to arrive early, but she was pretty determined to come early. Lots of these stories have happy endings.

I'm with @Cashew, you have a lot on your plate and not much help, you're EXPECTED to go on about all this. NTW. Just keep doing what you're doing and be as prepared as you can. You can do this!

 

[Casey_03]

@Cashew That is an interesting suggestion, but I don't think that's a popular concept out here. Though I may be wrong? But I don't know how much they would be able to help - if I were to go into labor prematurely, there are medications a doctor can give to slow down or delay labor, but that's not something a nurse or medic would be able to give me. I'm also guessing a travel companion with medical training would charge me a ton of money for the service, and it's money that I just don't have ...

 

[Casey_03]

@Hopeful2me Thank you, that is actually reassuring and does make me feel a bit better. My doctor is actually not even available to call and only works a few hours per day three days a week. I am realizing she (and her clinic) was a terrible choice and I am starting to think they are nothing short of con artists. @scout86 She does know about the trip and she told me traveling is fine up until 36 weeks (which I also find really questionable). I even asked her to write me a note asking the embassy staff to expedite the visa processing time so that I wouldn't have to be out of the country for more than a couple days, and she refused. Add to that the fact that I have issues with my kidney (hydronephrosis) that could harm the baby, issues that need to be monitored on a weekly basis. This was also not a cause for concern to her. I would most likely be going to Budapest or Warsaw for the trip, and I'm sure they have hospitals that I would also hope could take care of me ... it's just that then there is the added concern of a language barrier or other bureaucratic complications that I can't foresee, or if I go into labor on the train in the middle of nowhere (it's a long train ride). I guess a lot of this is just the need and desire for stability ... it's scary enough to be having my first child, and to have to do it in these uncertain circumstances is something I wouldn't wish on anybody. But hey, at least I have you guys! It means a lot to be able to talk about all this stuff on here!

 

[book6672]

It frustrating when medical providers do not listen to you. Definitely need to advocate for yourself. I agree that this worrying will cause undue stress. Until you any concrete proof you are at a high risk pregnancy, it's just causing extra stress. Enjoy your time being pregnant. This is the easier part of parenthood. Rest, relax, take care of yourself. Now is the time.

 

[Deleted member 33023]

Casey_03 the medication to slow down labor that they used on me was call Mag Sulfate (sp?). It slows labor. The other thing they did was put my bed almost upside down so the baby wasn't pushing on my cervix. They also shot me up with all kinds of steroids to speed up some of the growth specifically lungs of the baby. I was in the hospital for a week (I went in at 25 weeks) and my son was born about 9 days later. He was due at the end of January but was born at the beginning of November.

In order to reduce your stress over this do you think maybe researching hospitals or medical facilities where you are going? You will be surprised at the medical help in other countries. We were in Vietnam a year and a half ago and my husband got really really sick. We went to a local clinic and they took care of it faster, better and cheaper than here! So I'm unsure where you are traveling to but most places will accommodate you.

It is normal for new mothers to stress and worry about everything. Sometimes when you are pregnant your thinking isn't clear either. I remember being super happy or super worried. My emotions were all over the place. So please try to keep in mind your body has a lot of hormones going through it, your motherly protective instincts make you worry, and so many other things. Please try to relax as it will be good for you and I can tell what is most important...your beautiful baby. Think of how beautiful he/she is! Who will he/she look like? How cute will his/her toes be? What will be the color of his/her eye? Only good thoughts! Cuddling baby, smelling that wonderful smell and the wonderful things you will do together. So many good things with babies.

 

[Deleted member 33023]

@Hopeful2me Thank you, that is actually reassuring and does make me feel a bit bett...

I have travelled to Prague two years ago. They have good hospitals. What I found while traveling overseas and getting sick a few times I found they are wonderful. Also please do not worry about language barriers. While traveling across Europe (we have been going every year for over 10 years) we found mot people speak English. In fact, it was more common for them to speak English than I their language! So please be re-assured you will be okay.

As far as your doctor. You are the customer (I now this sounds strange with doctor/hospital) but you pay for a service. If you are not happy with the service you have to change it. This is important. This doctor is going to help you bring a human into this world. A baby. So you know what? Alleviating your worries...being there when you need the doctor (if not available at least have back up). If not satisfied just explain that you want a doctor that is available to you all the time. This is not asking for too much. When you are pregnant and ready to have a baby...the mother comes first. Bottom line.

So don't ever feel bad. Ever. Just take care of you and baby. Everyone else will either understand or they can get out. : )

 

[expectingbetter]

Your baby can't come when it's least expected because as far as I can see you are expecting it every single day.

But I assume both you and me know that there are no some reliable reasons for such expectations.

But taking into consideration that you yourself were born 2 months earlier and you are perfectly fine and knowing the fact that you have an appropriate ob&gyn specialist to follow your pregnancy, all the chances are that whenever your baby decides to come to this world it would be the right time.

Just try to become familiar with the feeling that any day is good enough and then you will be relaxed enough to actually peacefully wait for that wonderful moment.

And I have a feeling that once you come to the terms that no matter how early it comes is ok then I think you will actually get a relief you need so badly and I guess it can only help to actually delay the day of giving birth to your beloved child.