Partner Keeps Accusing Me Of Cheating

[Cherry_Bluebell]

My partner keeps accusing me of cheating and the stress of this is affecting my PTSD treatment. We don't officially live together because I prefer it that way, but he stays most nights and has the keys. When he turns up, he walks around the flat staring at things and questioning if something has been moved or looks 'different'. Sometimes this esculates into an argument that I've been cheating. Also if his late coming round and I phone him to see what time his going to arrive he says things like 'Why do you want to get that man out of your flat before I arrive?' Its getting sickening now and the arguments about this are affecting my treatment and making my depression worst. I hate being accused of things I haven't done and being accused of lying, its stressing me out!

 

[mrsps]

He has issues he needs to get sorted :(

 

[Friday]

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Sorry to say, but when people do that, they're usually (in my experience) cheating and trying to blame shift. Seeing their guilt in everyone else around them.

Might not be the case. He could just be hyperjealous, insecure, and incapable of trusting you. But to my mind, at least, both options suck.

 

[Lucycat]

. We don't officially live together because I prefer it that way, but he stays most nights and has the keys.

I would ask for the keys back.
Clearly their is a lack of trust here.

 

[digger]

Is there some really compelling reason that you're staying with him? There would have to be for me not to be asking for the keys back too and telling him not to bother till he sorts his shit out.

Has he always been like this? Did something happen that started the behaviour?

 

[GWhizz]

He has no right to treat you (rather mistreat you) this way. Or to accuse you of lying.

Do you love this man? Be very careful. He sounds mentally abusive. Is he aware of your ptsd? He's playing mind games if you ask me. That or he is extremely insecure and paranoid. This is sick as you so rightly put it.

 

[anthony]

He has serious insecurity issues IMHO... / ...he is cheating and projecting to make you feel guilty for his actions.

Either way... this is a serious sign of whats to come in your future, and it pretty much turns into him controlling your life.

 

[StarChild]

lady doth

@FridayJones, what in heavens name is a "lady doth" I don't understand it, and therefore I don't understand your statement. Could you clarify it for me, please? Thanks in advance.

 

[digger]

@TreeHugger - this might help http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_lady_doth_protest_too_much,_methinks

doth = does

 

[StarChild]

Yep, that helped! Thank you @digger!

 

[Cherry_Bluebell]

I'll reply to you all instead of individually. I have asked for the keys back (m collecting them monday), in fact I've taken my keys back several times the past few months but this will be the last time as I feel he is taking the p**s out of my flat by coming into it, looking about and accusing me of cheating on him (who does he think he is). We've been together on/off for over 5yrs, initially in the beginning we got together during the most unstable part of my life escaping domestic abuse from my family, moving around and homelessness and he was still grieving for his mother's death to alcoholism and a bad break up. We dated other people when not serious (this may stem from his insecurity) but those days are in the past and there's been no cheating on my part and as far as I know on his, but with all these accusations it's making me question his loyalty. The thing is, he knows where I am 24/7 because I'm open with him and I'm the type who reports to him and close friends my daily activities and he has the keys so can walk into my flat anytime. So accusing me of cheating doesn't make sense at all. Also just thought I'd add his not violent and has never hit me, but he is becoming verbally abusive. During these accusations his had outbursts calling me a sl*g

 

[Cherry_Bluebell]

Also his fully aware I've got PTSD and isn't supportive of my treatment, I'm having sleep therapy and his causing these arguments at 2ams effecting my sleep rota treatment