ninja
Sponsor
I understand, xena21. My abuser is an immediate family member. In fact, I still have to communicate with him periodically. Looking back, I see that he clearly was depressed and angry and missing something very crucial in his life. I can relate to all of those feelings and I wouldn't wish them upon anyone. I think the key might be in the word "deserve": I just don't see how I am in any position to decide what other people do and do not deserve (because who knows what went on in their lives), abuser or not (just my feelings/perspective). I've come to realize that compassion for him helps me achieve neutrality and so that is what I focus on.