My wife was recently diagnosed with PTSD and I am trying to learn more about it. Her train went off the tracks 5 or 6 yrs ago and things have gotten progressively worse. Back in February we had a blow up and she said she thought she wanted a divorce. At that time I went and talked to her doctor who had been previously treating her for depression. He was not aware that her pills weren't working any more because she always seemed cheerful when she came in. I figured if we did split up, at least the doctor knew she needed more help. Her sister finally talked her into going to the doctor (family doc) and he upped her dosage and eventually added a 2nd pill. She is better, and told me that we should put divorcing on hold and see how it goes. In early June she had a big blow up at work with her boss that almost cost her her job (although most people at work think she is much better since the medication changes).
That blow up prompted her to finally listen to the family doctor and to go see a psychiatrist for further evaluation (both diagnosis and medicine check). After her 2nd appointment with the therapist, she told me they were diagnosing her with PTSD. They have also started to slowly change her medicine as well. So in general, she is better and WANTS to see the therapist now.
I keep trying to focus on the small positives, like she finally told her parents that she had a problem and was seeking help. She seemed shocked that they already knew she had a problem of some kind. But she has been pushing her family away for years (her mom told me "I lost my daughter about 5 yrs ago") and has gone numb inside. Right now I try to focus on the positives, but it's tough to hear her tell her Mom on the phone that she loves her, when I can't even get a hug or any thing that shows she cares about me. I stopped being me around her a long time ago because my humor and jokes were making her mad. I have noticed lately that on good days I can sneak some of that in and she will laugh like she used to.
So, I have been reading lots of stuff and finally found this forum. We have been together for 17+ yrs and I don't want to abandon her, but there are days where I just want to walk away and find someone that might act like they want to be around me.
I live close to Scotts Mills if you know where that is on some acreage. We have been doing dog rescue, mainly dachshunds, and always have a bunch here. We also have some mowing machines (aka goats) and a friend has some horses in our pasture. My wife works in Salem and I work for a hi-tech company in Beaverton.
I guess that's enough for now.
Thanks,
John
