I was thinking, psyching up as I have to wrap a gift for a co-worker's bday (above), I still think good people but- different. And I need a different tribe (to say the least!!!), where at least I can choose.
Was thinking, grateful my dog's vet came in on her day off, grateful they let us (all) stay with her (unlike previous restrictions). Know the suffering (which was seconds) at the end is inevitable, in other ways other things they say didn't occur at all. I know she didn't want to let go, either. (None of even one of my family except one knocked off ever died til we said it's ok to go.) Today, I had to run around 8 hours in the cold; I thought of how difficult it was for her. Not that I didn't always, and not that I don't relate to severe arthritis, but today I needed the determination she had, just to walk back to the door (on only 2 of her legs, and those giving out. She would always- always- make a run for it after my sister. But now she needed even to rest after a short time). I literally prayed to her to help me, because it was that difficult for me. (And with these masks and our minus 300 degrees, your hair gets wet from the breath if you put your hood up. Oye it's very difficult in so many ways. )
I got a different, was told in a way annoiting- type, of blessing today (well, blessingS), totally didn't expect. I guess I needed it, because they are healing, and even keep you alive if it's God's will we believe, and am so grateful. I was thinking, we were, like so many actually are, arms and legs and heart-extensions for each other, canine and human alike. And funny, a guy with ptsd started talking to me about funding a ptsd dog, and I just unintentionally 'wandered off', didn't realize he was talking to me. And that's what she was, really. That is actually pretty incredible, because she needed a forever-home too, and that was as close as she and we could do. And 2 years past what they said was possible, I mean even camping and in the water and kayak up to Thanksgiving, and saw Christmas, which she loved I think because she came then. And never touched the tree, except to rearrange and group together all the birds when we were at work one year. )
Funny, too, because that vet was afraid she wouldn't have 'dignity' (her words) in those 2 years, and she totally did, and looked great tbh. Mind you, we do this for people and employed what we know on our own. And this vet said ~in the future she would lose her dignity, well, she said, 'now, while she still has dignity') but actually she never would have lost that, because we wouldn't have allowed it. But I think too, all the obvious facts considered, I think the immediate future of the pandemic would have caused more problems/ sufferings if we had prolonged it even a week or two. And a few years ago she almost died from e-coli, and made it (couldn't eat for 8 days, and I went through exactly the same, and 8 days, and it was unreal). So we were very lucky/ blessed, because they said even a few hours later would have been toast. I am sad, devastated, heart-broken, grateful, privileged, and thankful for being held up by others, and her presence.
Thanks to all and for all your prayers. And understanding sometimes a dog is not just a 'dog'. I don't think it's coincidental that Dog is God spelled in the rearview. Thank you.
Was thinking, grateful my dog's vet came in on her day off, grateful they let us (all) stay with her (unlike previous restrictions). Know the suffering (which was seconds) at the end is inevitable, in other ways other things they say didn't occur at all. I know she didn't want to let go, either. (None of even one of my family except one knocked off ever died til we said it's ok to go.) Today, I had to run around 8 hours in the cold; I thought of how difficult it was for her. Not that I didn't always, and not that I don't relate to severe arthritis, but today I needed the determination she had, just to walk back to the door (on only 2 of her legs, and those giving out. She would always- always- make a run for it after my sister. But now she needed even to rest after a short time). I literally prayed to her to help me, because it was that difficult for me. (And with these masks and our minus 300 degrees, your hair gets wet from the breath if you put your hood up. Oye it's very difficult in so many ways. )
I got a different, was told in a way annoiting- type, of blessing today (well, blessingS), totally didn't expect. I guess I needed it, because they are healing, and even keep you alive if it's God's will we believe, and am so grateful. I was thinking, we were, like so many actually are, arms and legs and heart-extensions for each other, canine and human alike. And funny, a guy with ptsd started talking to me about funding a ptsd dog, and I just unintentionally 'wandered off', didn't realize he was talking to me. And that's what she was, really. That is actually pretty incredible, because she needed a forever-home too, and that was as close as she and we could do. And 2 years past what they said was possible, I mean even camping and in the water and kayak up to Thanksgiving, and saw Christmas, which she loved I think because she came then. And never touched the tree, except to rearrange and group together all the birds when we were at work one year. )
Funny, too, because that vet was afraid she wouldn't have 'dignity' (her words) in those 2 years, and she totally did, and looked great tbh. Mind you, we do this for people and employed what we know on our own. And this vet said ~in the future she would lose her dignity, well, she said, 'now, while she still has dignity') but actually she never would have lost that, because we wouldn't have allowed it. But I think too, all the obvious facts considered, I think the immediate future of the pandemic would have caused more problems/ sufferings if we had prolonged it even a week or two. And a few years ago she almost died from e-coli, and made it (couldn't eat for 8 days, and I went through exactly the same, and 8 days, and it was unreal). So we were very lucky/ blessed, because they said even a few hours later would have been toast. I am sad, devastated, heart-broken, grateful, privileged, and thankful for being held up by others, and her presence.
Thanks to all and for all your prayers. And understanding sometimes a dog is not just a 'dog'. I don't think it's coincidental that Dog is God spelled in the rearview. Thank you.
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