Pre therapy nerves on steroids.

[Freida]

Past reality, not current reality.
So same thing, just brains being f*cking weird.

so myyyyy T would say "it's in the past but you don't know that yet. So you react like it is still happening, because your body can't tell the difference."

Which means if a part of you is still stuck in that place "talking = broken arm" then you will get the jitters now, just like you did then. It's like me with the gun thing. Even though I KNEW that in 2020 there was no man with a gun, the inside me was still stuck in "a long time ago" and thinking it was Real Right Now

Worth a thought......

 

[Dynamic]

I have discussed this with Ts, it just doesn't help or go anywhere n we both end up frustrated. Cos nothing I've tried in the past like three years with three Ts has changed it at all.

So don't wanna be resigned to it cos it's f*cking exhausting. But also half am.

Have you tried journaling? I have journaled for years. I didn't read everything before me so sorry if someone already mentioned it. I am following this thread. I just hope you can find comfort. And healing. Journaling has helped me a lot. It's private. And then maybe as you see your thoughts on paper you can share selective things with T? As you are ready. Even so. Without a T journaling has been all I needed at times. I do recommend a good T though. Keep working at it. It's worth it.