This has been bothering me and causing much fear and I need a safe place to let it out. First I need to explain the situation first.
Over a year ago I stopped talking to the family member who preyed on me as a child. I avoid him and most family situations out of fear of running into him and other family members trying to make us make up and be family again. He is very manipulative and always had a way of making suggestive threats in a way that I can't actually say it is a threat. I thought I was crazy for so long, but my bf heard him say a threat in a suggestive way once after he broke my cats tail and almost killed him. You see I was living at my moms house and he had to do work on the house. During this time he learned I was in therapy. Then my cat goes missing. We find him with a broken spine and in so much pain. It cost 1000s of dollars in vet bills. My heart was crushed.
My bf was in my room and I was in the hallway with the guy, I was upset because he was known for hurting animals and I was sure it was him, although I did not know it was a message yet. He say that he did not hurt my cat, and that hurting cats was in his past, so its was best to forgive him and put things in the past. The tone he gave made the message clear, but the words where not as obvious.
I automatically went to my room and shut the door, and my bf just looked at me with shock and confusion. I just ignored it and went on with my day. Later that night my bf asked me if he was implying the he did it. I told him I think so but no one will believe me or you. He was so mad, but the guy was known for being violent and dangerous so we both felt helpless.
For months after that I had severe panic attacks especially if my bf did not respond to my calls right away or was late visiting me after work. I was so scared that he might get into a "car accident" or go missing or something else more horrible. I felt so bad for bringing him into this.
You are stuck, you can't explain to people what is going on without putting them in danger, feeling shame, being deemed "mentally ill" Even if I made a report there is no evidence at all.
Anyway to the actual current source of my anxiety (the previous stuff happened years ago, I moved out and live pretty far) I stopped talking to the guy years ago, but when people ask I use his drug use as an excuse. I worked at a department sports store in a mall for 6 months, I stopped working there a year ago, but I was told by a friend who still works there that that family member goes in the store all the time to use the bathroom. There are plenty of bathrooms in the mall, but goes into the department store and says hi to everyone working. (he always been friendly and good with people)
I do not understand this behavior. Could he be trying to make an impression, is this a tactic to gain trust so he can easily deem me crazy? Do you think he is worried I may have told someone who worked there? Is he just checking to see if I am a threat to his illusional character?
How do I handle this? Its been bottled up for a week, I just been ignoring the fact that this person is behaving oddly in a place were I was well known. Maybe it is healthier to push it aside. Except the fact that these things happen. That maybe its just him being weird, or maybe he knows someone who works there. Maybe I am being a little crazy and over thinking things.
Over a year ago I stopped talking to the family member who preyed on me as a child. I avoid him and most family situations out of fear of running into him and other family members trying to make us make up and be family again. He is very manipulative and always had a way of making suggestive threats in a way that I can't actually say it is a threat. I thought I was crazy for so long, but my bf heard him say a threat in a suggestive way once after he broke my cats tail and almost killed him. You see I was living at my moms house and he had to do work on the house. During this time he learned I was in therapy. Then my cat goes missing. We find him with a broken spine and in so much pain. It cost 1000s of dollars in vet bills. My heart was crushed.
My bf was in my room and I was in the hallway with the guy, I was upset because he was known for hurting animals and I was sure it was him, although I did not know it was a message yet. He say that he did not hurt my cat, and that hurting cats was in his past, so its was best to forgive him and put things in the past. The tone he gave made the message clear, but the words where not as obvious.
I automatically went to my room and shut the door, and my bf just looked at me with shock and confusion. I just ignored it and went on with my day. Later that night my bf asked me if he was implying the he did it. I told him I think so but no one will believe me or you. He was so mad, but the guy was known for being violent and dangerous so we both felt helpless.
For months after that I had severe panic attacks especially if my bf did not respond to my calls right away or was late visiting me after work. I was so scared that he might get into a "car accident" or go missing or something else more horrible. I felt so bad for bringing him into this.
You are stuck, you can't explain to people what is going on without putting them in danger, feeling shame, being deemed "mentally ill" Even if I made a report there is no evidence at all.
Anyway to the actual current source of my anxiety (the previous stuff happened years ago, I moved out and live pretty far) I stopped talking to the guy years ago, but when people ask I use his drug use as an excuse. I worked at a department sports store in a mall for 6 months, I stopped working there a year ago, but I was told by a friend who still works there that that family member goes in the store all the time to use the bathroom. There are plenty of bathrooms in the mall, but goes into the department store and says hi to everyone working. (he always been friendly and good with people)
I do not understand this behavior. Could he be trying to make an impression, is this a tactic to gain trust so he can easily deem me crazy? Do you think he is worried I may have told someone who worked there? Is he just checking to see if I am a threat to his illusional character?
How do I handle this? Its been bottled up for a week, I just been ignoring the fact that this person is behaving oddly in a place were I was well known. Maybe it is healthier to push it aside. Except the fact that these things happen. That maybe its just him being weird, or maybe he knows someone who works there. Maybe I am being a little crazy and over thinking things.
