Supporter Ptsd Tbi Deff Need Some Advice

[przmuneca]

Hello all, I'm new to this site.

The man I'm dating has ptsd and a tbi. I see a lot of different stories on here and man are some of them rough.

I can only hope that he doesn't leave me or shut me out. We've spent everyday together since we've met and things seem to be going really good. But there are times where I just don't know what to do or say to him because I don't want to add to his stress.

On top of him dealing with his problems, we're both sag. We get along great more then half the time and sometimes we drive each other crazy. I am so glad I found this forum.

I've never dated anyone in the military before let alone someone with ptsd. So my question is how do I help him cope? How can I make sure this relationship works.

Thanks in advance for the support and advice =)

 

[^^FlyingSolo^^]

So my question is how do I help him cope?

Welcome to the forum,

You might be dealing with a lot of different mood swings and stuff like that. The best thing is to be understanding and non-judgmental when you see weird behavior. Just let him know that you understand and "it's okay". But be honest with yourself and him. If the strange behaviors bother you, you should let him down easy and leave the relationship. But if you really want to be with him long term, just overlook the craziness, as long as he is not violent. Try to learn what his triggers are, and see if he will talk to you about some things. overall try being a calm, understanding girlfriend.

You'll probably find a lot more help in the supporters section.

good luck

 

[reallydown]

Hi and welcome to the forum. The previous poster pretty much said it. I would add, however, that reading more about this is a must. You've already taken a great step by coming here. As a heads-up, in terms of possible triggers...He might not feel good in crowded areas; things like fireworks and sudden noises, especially if the sound like gun fire are likely to be triggers...Everyone's different of course, and there are so many different things that cold lead to flashbacks etc. Anyway, good luck.

 

[przmuneca]

Thanx and I haven't quite figured what his triggers are yet. We got a flyer in the mail for fire works and he deff wants to get some. He also says he wants to take me to the gun range so I at least know those aren't triggers for him

 

[TLight]

I know when I went undiagnosed and untreated for many years, I seemed to invite triggers in to my life, even though they cause extreme distress. I learned only years later that we are doing what's familiar, what seems 'normal' for our overwrought nervous systems.

So even though you think these might not be triggers, they also may be satisifing something in him.

 

[przmuneca]

I hope it wont cause him Distress because I want us to be able to enjoy our forth of July. What would happen when you invited triggers in?