Recurring Dreams And Physical Pain Of Attack

[Deleted member 24866]

Having a hard time getting past a choking incident till the point of blacking out that occurred with the father of my child whom I broke up with about a year ago now- almost daily physical pain as if I am being choked again and some nights more than one dream, he was extremely violent sexually. He blamed it on alcohol, but it kept growing worse. It was almost like he had a split personality. Not a happy camper these days and very afraid of men for the most part now, as there were also serious financial manipulations in the relationship prior to my understanding his personality. For instance I had borrowed him money that he refused to pay back and his psychological games had me in and out of hospitals tearing apart my employment and resume for a time where I almost went homeless and lost everything. Things are far more stable again. Trying to keep at working out, and staying focused- just pretty isolated, have found counseling extremely ineffectual this sight has been the most help I have found when it gets hard, but these recurring dreams and the physical pain are really troublesome and hoping you guys can throw some tricks my way. Thanks.

 

[Adorraj]

Have you tried group therapy. It helps me because I talk with other women that have been sexually abuse and assault or have survived domestic violence. Group therapy makes you feel not alone or crazy. Many women (and men) share what you are going through. Group therapy keeps you from feeling isolated and you can find some tips from people going through what you are going through.
As far as your physical pain have you thought of taking pain killer with a sleep aid like Tylenol pm or Advil pm to help with pain and sleep. Or maybe have a doctor prescribe you medication. If you don't want to take the medical route then maybe try melatonin or valerian root. You can also try a bed time ritual like taking a hot bath/shower with bath salts or body scrub(to symbolize washing away the pain/abuse), light a candle and say a prayer asking God to give you peace during the night(don't forget to put out the candle), sleeping with a night light or radio, sleeping with a teddy bear, glass of warm milk or sleepy time tea. Breathing slowly and deeply as you lie in bed. I like to close my eyes and fantasize about going into my dream world where I'm on a peaceful beach (where no one can find me and where I'm safe.)
When waking up from a bad dreams I look around the room and breath and make myself aware of my surrounding. Go to the bathroom and splash water on my face.
Forgive my spelling and grammar errors but I hope those help.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

Thank you for the beautiful ideas you have shared. You are more creative than me. I have looked into group therapy- but there are no support groups in this area. That is why I have begun some practice of self defense and exercise.. but I think you are right. Adding more prayer and self care may help calm me before bed. I have considered some church hoping to find some kind people as I am afraid my environment is not always understanding and supportive, and can occasionally be further abusive, but thankfully that seems better controlled as well. Your writing is beautiful as is your spirit, only a shallow person focuses on such trivial matters in my opinion. ;) (And mine is probably equally as flawed if not more so.)

 

[Adorraj]

:inlove:
Thank you. I pray you have inner peace on your journey.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

Thank you, seeing there is no way around it I have no choice but to accept it and brush up rather on prevention. I have found some decent training videos- and it feels good to know I don't ever have to just accept it (being strangled) again. The sense of empowering does help, looking forward to perfecting some of the techniques via sparring. The regular exercise and boosting vitamin C is paying off with the stress levels. Also finding some terrific online advice as far as coping better with the aftershock of recent trauma. It is helping me own up to a slightly skewed perception issue and helping me to communicate better, diffuse a short temper, and realign. I don't know, I would share the links but I fear this site may see it as an advertisement and not appreciate it. Overall I am very happy with this site. It has helped me more than therapy to scroll through and realize what is a normal part of the process, what I have the power to do things to assist myself and get ideas from kind understanding folks like yourself. Overall I think I am doing well, but the physical flashbacks are new. Perhaps in part because I stopped self medicating with pot awhile back which was helpful. But seeing my short term memory function better is more rewarding as I gain strength and hope to work into better career options or school. Your support has been helpful and God bless this community. For clarification I had struggled with sexual related trauma issues and returning memories for 25 years but it has progressed where recent tests reflect I am actually overcoming and no longer test at a level for a diagnosis. Or so I was told, but hospitalized once even since then argh. Anyhow trying to look up and develop effective coping strategies and it is mostly paying off as being in a psych system on and off for 25 years made me feel like a prisoner.

 

[Deleted member 24866]

It is exciting to me as I no longer feel hopeless reviewing self defense in choking scenarios that the dreams and physical flashbacks have not bothered me since finding these videos and now I am dreaming about fighting off my attacker. It feels like progress :) and empowerment. It also feels as though the knowledge is synthesizing into my reality as I still need to find sparring partners. The only thing that the videos could be a bit off on was the fact the man was 14" taller than me and double my weight so I have to keep looking to compensate such a large difference. But hope is an amazing thing just wanted to share.