Rough Day Thread...

[Pippi427]

I wish I knew what the end of this loop would be. My therapist wants me to take control of my own situation to give my brain and soul some peace. I keep thinking how horrible it would be to come out of a bad "down" and have your loved ones walk away. It's a catch 22.

 

[Hojay]

First, congrats on your run! Takes some real perseverance and integrity to go through on that one.

Second, I don’t know if you like to read or feel like books are beneficial for you at the moment, but I can recommend one called The Journey from Abandonment To Healing. It’s a beautifully compassionate book that goes to the root of what happens to us in hard to grasp situations like these.

 

[Pippi427]

I told that mad I had what it takes. He's just not hearing it. I will look at the book. I need all the help I can get.

 

[Freida]

He might be able to compartmentalize stuff if there is no pressure to actually interact emotionally.

I do this ^^^ I can function pretty well unless I'm in a really bad place. Because it's "work" stuff it uses my brain, not my heart.

 

[Pippi427]

I do this ^^^ I can function pretty well unless I'm in a really bad place. Because it's "work" stuff it uses my brain, not my heart.

Just kinda pisses me off because I am the ONE who got him THAT JOB. ?

 

[Freida]

Just kinda pisses me off because I am the ONE who got him THAT JOB

oh damn! Yep --- that is just wrong! The least he could do is quit!

 

[Pippi427]

oh damn! Yep --- that is just wrong! The least he could do is quit!

Oh it was freelance work. We have a book coming out in December. Well our friend does. L and I did the photography together.

 

[EveHarrington]

oh damn! Yep --- that is just wrong! The least he could do is quit!

Maybe I’m reading this wrong, but you really think he should quit a job just because of being in an isolation period?

I hope you were being sarcastic.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Chill with the nitpicking please...she's venting.

 

[PreciousChild]

Can I ask a question to sufferers who isolate (or some variation thereof) if this resonates with them at all? In reading "Healing the Shame that Binds You", Bradshaw points out that those who are shame-based have it in them to shame others. There were times with my ex when I felt that when he was triggered, he "needed" to project out that shame upon me, whether it was by criticizing me or running away and leaving me hanging. Do you think that's mixed in at all? Abandon or be abandoned - abandoning puts one in control more, but it leaves the other abandoned and left to hold that bag of shame.

I don't mean to offend anyone. But I sympathize with @Pippi427 and the situation she describes is damn hurtful. And maybe there's a reason for that.

 

[Freida]

Yep..just being sarcastic....
It makes me sad to add getting him a job to all the things @Pippi427 has done for him .....just to have him turn around and be such an ass to her.

 

[Freida]

@PreciousChild that's an interesting question. I dont think I've done that to my supporters (OK really hoping I haven't!! Now I need to ask them!). I know I get bitchy but it's more frustrations about what's going on in my head than a need to pass around shame. For me isolating is about quieting the screaming in my head ....which I can't do it people are trying to interact with me. So yes...I'll drive them away but I don't think I want them to feel as ashamed of themselves as I do about me.