N
nightcries
Batman is kind of like my hero, a father figure in a sense. Which is saying a lot because I relate to Richard Grayson more than anything. But that's not the point.
My life's been going downhill lately, and by lately I mean as young as I could remember. I used to be surrounded by constant shouting matches, arguments, physical aggression and sexual activities with an older sibling I still feel confused about, but it's all died down to silence. I don't hate my family but I just wished they understood me. Which they do, but only when they want to. And just for the record, my parents aren't monsters, my siblings aren't hell spawns, we all have our own problems and coping with it isn't anyone's specialty. Family therapy is never mentioned, and nor do I want to go to it. Emotions make me cry, cringe and curl up inside myself. I feel so little of it, but so much of it at the same time.
I feel as if it's my fault in some way, but I can never explain how. I know I wasn't the best daughter, the best sister that I should've been. I pray that this is all a nightmare and I get to restart, finally find my purpose in life that I lost all those years ago. My anger is childish because I found out at a young age this life wasn't for me. I've attempted to run away, kill myself with various strategies that all ended up with making me sick or have a splitting headache deep in the back of my skull.
So I've just been in my own world. ever since I was born I've been in my own world. Most of them include Batman. It's more of a fantasy adventure to get away and ignore everything that happened, and I'm often Robin by his side. It's most likely a trauma response, trying to seek comfort in someone who isn't real.
talk about corny amiright
My life's been going downhill lately, and by lately I mean as young as I could remember. I used to be surrounded by constant shouting matches, arguments, physical aggression and sexual activities with an older sibling I still feel confused about, but it's all died down to silence. I don't hate my family but I just wished they understood me. Which they do, but only when they want to. And just for the record, my parents aren't monsters, my siblings aren't hell spawns, we all have our own problems and coping with it isn't anyone's specialty. Family therapy is never mentioned, and nor do I want to go to it. Emotions make me cry, cringe and curl up inside myself. I feel so little of it, but so much of it at the same time.
I feel as if it's my fault in some way, but I can never explain how. I know I wasn't the best daughter, the best sister that I should've been. I pray that this is all a nightmare and I get to restart, finally find my purpose in life that I lost all those years ago. My anger is childish because I found out at a young age this life wasn't for me. I've attempted to run away, kill myself with various strategies that all ended up with making me sick or have a splitting headache deep in the back of my skull.
So I've just been in my own world. ever since I was born I've been in my own world. Most of them include Batman. It's more of a fantasy adventure to get away and ignore everything that happened, and I'm often Robin by his side. It's most likely a trauma response, trying to seek comfort in someone who isn't real.
talk about corny amiright
