Scared Of Xmas

[darrenS]

i am having difficulties at the moment with flashbacks which has caused me to lash out at the only ones i have who are close. I have no one else anywhere near and it looks like xmas will be spent entirely alone.

I want to see my kids but im feeling so vulnerable that i dont think i can cope with being in my ex wife's house. I am at a total loss as to what to do, xmas is always tough for me for many reasons, but at the same time being totally isolated in this state is going to be tough and dangerous.
I am not in a good frame of mind and feel myself wanting to destruct
Is anyone else facing a similar conundrum

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I hope I'm not totally off base here.....

I think that in these instances where we are alone on special days we literally have a choice as to whether or not we are going to try and make it a good day or a bad day. Please don't misunderstand me because I am not saying that your symptoms are a choice.

For example, I usually spend my birthday alone, but I always make it a special day. I am pro-active in making the day a good day, even though I am by myself. I know a lot of people who do the "woe is me, I am alone, nobody cares about me" thing, and where does that get them? Nowhere! Of course its not ideal to be alone on such days, but I honestly do think that fighting against the negative feelings will get you farther than giving in to them. You could make the day yours.....make yourself your favorite meal, or make no meals at all and just eat junk food all day long. Buy something nice for yourself that you've always wanted, plan to watch your favorite movies, plan to go to the movies (its a big movie theater day!).......whatever you do, make the day YOURS! The key is to plan ahead. On my birthday I often OVER pack the day with things to do and I never get them all done. (So what, its my day, right?)

I'm not saying that its easy to just flip like a switch and be all happy-happy......but, I consider this kind of thing the ULTIMATE in self soothing. (I think we can agree that you deserve that, right?)

 

[darrenS]

Thanks for your response Solara , i appreciate it...i think the hardest thing is not being with my kids, but yes i agree , i have to devise a safe plan and do something..

 

[scout86]

Are you going to be able to be with your kids at some time during the holidays?

It often gets suggested that there might be places that need volunteers to do things like serve food to the homeless on days like Christmas. I don't know if that's an option where you are.

I'm kind of thinking that maybe those of us who will be alone for Christmas should plan to get together here and have a daylong celebration of our own. (I've never tried to use "chat" this might be the time.) We have enough people from enough places, we could do the entire 24 hours of Christmas.

What do you think?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Great idea Scout!! This really is a global site! When I don't have anywhere to go on Christmas, I like to see a movie in a theater then go out for Chinese food. Where I live, this is called a Jewish Christmas!