Self harm in adults with ptsd

[xena21]

I think its great that people have such good stop gaps for their self harm behavior...children in particular seem to be a big reason to stop. I can see why this would be the case.

I wish I had done the family route and put myself in that position. I don't even know how to put myself in that position actually. I've never even kissed or touched a guy except when I was a child. I don't understand it anymore. It's very foreign to me and I am terrified. I always wanted a family and to be "normal" but I guess that won't happen.

Sometimes life is just too scary to live in it.

 

[Anne2013]

I'm new to this forum.. Is self harm linked to ptsd? I've being diagnosed with ptsd (about six months ago, but had it since teens) I have self harmed and didn't make a big deal out of it because its never caused injuries that can't heal. the odd scar or too. I've just accepted it as part of being me.

 

[cookinggal]

I might not seem old enough but I'm 21 and still self harm and I have 2 kids. I'm more mature then most my age.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think Valentino has a lot of good insight on this topic.

I'm an adult self harm'er and have been in recovery for 6 years now. I slip up maybe once or twice a year in the burning/bruising department, which is a far cry from where I was.

I think it's sad that society accepts slower forms of self harm, and even embraces them. I don't drink yet I'm looked at like a freak because of my choice to abstain, which is directly related to my health. Kind of messed up. But I don't feel too bad about it for long because I remember this.... Every time they interview an old person on tv who is 100+, they ask him/her what their secret to living long is. 99 times out of 100 the person's reply is "I don't drink" along with a few other things. So I digress...

My reason for self harming is pure anxiety relief. Nothing beats that endorphin release. The sad thing is that you learn to depend on that feeling and there's only one way to get it (instantly) so you harm more often to feel better and before you know it you can't stop. I was at that point; injuring 3+ times a day and couldn't stop even though the relief wasn't as good anymore.

 

[Abstract]

Is self harm linked to ptsd?

Hi,
I think the answer would be, "not necessarily". It can be linked to many things. Mostly related to conditions where people experience intense emotions or self hatred. Such as depression, anxiety, OCD and trauma. And it is linked to personality disorders as well. Especially the ones that include problems moderating emotions such as borderline personality disorder. And even Avoidant I believe. But, yes, PTSD would be one.

 

[Pencil]

Is that a good thing you think? I mean does it stop you from hurting yourself most of the time?

HI Xena, sorry, saw this post only now.
Yes, definitely. My daughter has asked about my scars, and my lies have worked up to now. But when she's older (she's now 7), she will figure out what it is. There is NO WAY I can cause any injury she can see, so I stopped altogether.

 

[xena21]

I can definitely understand why people would stop hurting themselves for their children. That seems to be a very good reason to make a change.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm overwhelmed and confused and wanting to cut again. I hate this. I wish words were enough of an outlet for these feelings. But it honestly feels like cutting is the only thing that will give me relief right now.

 

[Only 1 of me]

This is another of those threads that makes me feel less alone so thanks all for sharing. When I was hospitalised last year I was doing all of the below many times per day. For me at times this is the only way I have known how to care for myself and keep myself alive. Hating and hurting have been confused with nurture. At the moment I'm doing better no self harm at all since new year. Still get urges but they don't have the same hold on me as before. I'm 35 and diagnosed ptsd, depression, anxiety. The reason I have posted such a long list is to show that someone with a big problem of self harming can improve, it's not intended to give anyone ideas! I've put a big new tattoo over some of the worst scarring as a celebration of progress.

I have been a:
Hammer hitter (thought I was the only one!) - when they took my hammer I found a big rock in the garden and used that till they took it.
Door slammer on my hands and arms
Finger breaker
Head banger, went too far and knocked myself out a few times so I stopped that.
Cutter - stole and broke plates and mugs to use when no knives allowed.
Sleep and food depriver sometimes
Over exerciser sometimes

 

[Mayday]

I've put a big new tattoo over some of the worst scarring as a celebration of progress.

That is awesome! I love that

 

[xena21]

I have been a:
Hammer hitter (thought I was the only one!)

Right there with you! I understand. I started dropping furniture on my hands and feet when I didn't have a hammer or something else. Not that I'm saying people should do that...just that it's easy to go from one to another when you feel the NEED to hurt yourself. I think it's great that you are doing things to get better. The tattoo sounds awesome!

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

I'm having a really hard time at the moment. My hypervigilance and anxiety are exhausting me. It feels like I'm filled with thick carbonated anxiety. The urge to cut has been so strong. It's taking so much effort right now to not grab the nearest sharp object and cut myself and let the pain out from a physical wound. Because I literally feel like I'm going to explode. All of this feels so heavy and I feel so tired and exhausted. I hate PTSD. I hate trauma. I just needed to say that. I couldn't keep that inside too. I at least needed to let the words out to people who understand what it's like to be so consumed by one symptom or another that the only relief you feel like you can get is from hurting yourself.