Self harm in adults with ptsd

[Pencil]

The good thing about just going out and running is that it makes me process a lot of grief. Many spiritual traditions believe you hold your grief in your lungs. Running forces you to empty out all of the stale air at the bottom of your lungs you don't usually bother to exhale. For me that meant running around my neighborhood while sobbing terribly

This is interesting: I smoke and desperately want to stop, but when I do I start sobbing and the emotional pain unconnected to smoking, but brought to the surface when I try to quit is just too much.

 

[MomOfTwo]

I have been seeing a new therapist and she told me that she may not be able to help me because of self harming behaviours like not eating when I should. I used to be anorexic but was 'recovered' for a while. I have resorted back to the eating disorder way of eating because it does help me cope and control things. I told her that it was not 'cutting' so how could it be self-harm and she told me it was because I was using it to harm myself. I do get what she is saying but I also think there is more to it than that.

Any way I told her that I had no other way to cope and I did not know how. She told me that the uncomfortable feelings have to dealt with if you want recovery because no amount of therapy is going to help if you are in these behaviours. She said it is a choice. She said I use all these sorts of behaviours to dissociate and not deal with what has happened to me.

 

[xena21]

Yes, that I understand, but I wonder if self-harm is not the flip side of self care.

I understand your question and your logic now. Thinking of it in that way...it makes sense. I suppose when I do use self harm it is a way to soothe myself. As someone stated earlier it does release endorphins. That's why people exercise. So I guess hurting myself is self care if you look at it in that frame of reference.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have been seeing a new therapist and she told me that she may not be able to help me because of self harming behaviours like not eating when I should. In that.

She said it is a choice. She said I use all these sorts of behaviours to dissociate and not deal with what has happened to me.

Ditch your therapist. This person has an inappropriate desire to foretell the future. In my opinion when you go hunting for a new therapist ask questions about "harm reduction" specifically. Baby steps. These bad coping methods have kept you alive this far. Any one who tells you to just stop right now just because is someone who doesn't really understand neurobiology. These behaviors are filling needs you have. If you want to change the behavior you have to come at it sideways.

Getting better looks different for everyone. If your therapist has a One Twue Way then you probably need to find someone who is a better fit.

 

[Pencil]

These behaviors are filling needs you have.

And this helps me to understand why I felt weak with anger when my ex-therapist told me to be 'kind to myself' when I felt needy.

 

[piratelady]

She told me that the uncomfortable feelings have to dealt with if you want recovery because no amount of therapy is going to help if you are in these behaviours. She said it is a choice. She said I use all these sorts of behaviours to dissociate and not deal with what has happened to me.

I think she is correct. The way therapy can help you stop is to help you develop healthy coping skills. Once new coping skills are in place, it is a matter of learning to turn to those skills rather than to harming yourself.

That is what my therapist is trying to help me with - to find a new coping mechanism to replace self-harm with.

 

[MomOfTwo]

That is what my therapist is trying to help me with - to find a new coping mechanism to replace self-harm with.

Piratelady,
Thanks for re-phrasing as what you said is what she is intending. :) We have tried tapping therapy, grounding and next week we are going to do breathing. I tap everynight before I go to sleep and sometimes during the day. She said that she will not focus on talking about my trauma until later. That being said she took a complete history and has a couple of reports from the psychiatrists so she knows most of everything anyway. Once I am stable and able to feel like I don't need to rely on these behaviours and have other coping methods we will discuss the past. I have been told she is one of the very best doctors/therapist and my therapist recommended her.

She told me our bodies have a way of holding onto our past that can make us very ill. She is I think teaching me ways to calm my nervous system and release negative energy. For a medical doctor she believes in alternative therapies. She told me that I do not have to believe what she is teaching me works but to do it.

I don't think what she is trying to provide me with can hurt. I am just hoping that they can somewhat help. I also need to just try to push through those negative thoughts and try her techniques when I am feeling them. Some I think are too difficult. I try to stay 'present' and at times nothing grounds me. I am hoping once I learn and establish more safety or feeling of safety in my sense of the world then I will no longer use self-harming coping methods.

 

[piratelady]

I tap every night before I go to sleep and sometimes during the day.

I have heard people talk about tapping on the forum before. What is it exactly, like, what do you do? Do you find it helpful?

I also need to just try to push through those negative thoughts and try her techniques when I am feeling them.

That is one thing I find very difficult - to use the newly learned skills when I need them. My thinking is that it gets easier with time? I'm not sure, but am hoping it will.

 

[MomOfTwo]

I have heard people talk about tapping on the forum before. What is it exactly, like, what do you do? Do you find it helpful?.

Pirate Lady,

It is tapping I guess onto different points on our bodies. It is supposed to help us release energy or emotions that are stored in our bodies. I think it is mentioned under the WIKI on this site. However, the method I use utilizes the Gamut procedure at the end so if you want to google make sure you google "EFT and Gamut Method". My doctor said not to shortcut and to include this procedure as well.

I am not sure how much it has helped but noticed I have not had hives since starting it. I get them pretty frequently. I used it recently while waiting for my doctor in an examining room. I just did it to try and calm my nerves. Right now I feel it is more of a distraction and I have not done it for very long but am willing to keep trying.

I do find the skills hard to get my head around sometimes. Even the grounding ones are difficult. I feel much more heavy physically or tired when I pay attention to my environment more. Not sure if anyone else feels the same.

 

[rightkindofme]

I think there is a big difference between saying, "Let's teach you new coping methods so you don't have to keep relying on your old ones" and "You have to stop doing those things or you won't get better."

 

[MomOfTwo]

"You have to stop doing those things or you won't get better."

There is a difference. I think she was just being frank in that she would not be able to help me if I was choosing behaviours to numb out and not really feel things. I don't think it is so easy as making a 'choice' though because coping strategies that have been in place for decades are not easy to exchange for 'healthier' ones. My other therapist though never gave me things to try. She was empathetic and validating but never gave me any sorts of coping strategies.

Her saying that did make me feel a bit like maybe I was hopeless because it is not so easy just to change everything fullstop. I doubt myself all the time so I just felt like I was doubting myself more. I have been committing to trying everything she says though. I kind of felt like I was 'going to be fired' or something initially. :)

 

[Core]

I think she was just being frank in that she would not be able to help me if I was choosing behaviours to numb out and not really feel things

Reading your post I begin wondering what is a normal regulation of emotions and what is unhealthy numbing, but that is perhaps going too off topic.

(I'd promised myself not to post in this thread considering I'm still a teenager, but I forgot my promise. Sorry. :oops:)