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Severe Anger Attack

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Noel Bush

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I've been having random anger attacks for the past 4 years, and it's really become bothersome and embarrassing. It's usually over trivial things too. For example, one morning I was putting on eyeliner before school, but I kept messing up. After trying over and over again I became more angry and before I knew it I was breaking everything in my room. I don't know how to explain it, something just snapped in my brain and everything felt like it was in my way, even my own body. I just had a very strong urge to rip my skin off and destroy things. I usually breathe really heavily during this, and I can't seem to calm down. This sounds awful, but whenever people try to help me, people I love for example, I just snap at them and want to hurt them. Thank God I haven't so far, but I really need help with ways to calm myself down. Any tips? Would taking medicine help with this?
 
I find when thinking about anger you have to remember it comes under the umbrella of fear. So "fight or flight" and for you it's fight for someone else it's flight.

Thus treat it as you would a panic attack. 7/11 breathing (in for 7counts out for 11) or box breathing (in for 4 hold for 4 out for 4 hold for 4) when anxious we take deep or lots of little breaths because we're getting ready to run or fight. This in turn changes the the %age of oxygen in your blood which send a message to your brain that you really need to be ready to do something (aka adrenalin) thus you feel worse and the whole cycle starts again. The breathing exercises lowers the %age of oxygen (and quickly) to stop the body producing more adrenalin.

I know you must think breathing exercises for anger are you joking. But it works for anxiety and like I said anger comes under the fear umbrella.

I haven't had a full blown panic attack for over a year thanks to these bleaching exercises.
 
It is one reason that I isolate. I am not angry at everyone, but selfish, abusive type people trigger me quickly, and the world is full of them. I am pretty understanding and tolerant of people who suffer from MI's. But, as for general society, it can piss me off pretty quick.
 
I can relate the extreme anger and acting out. Im very angry that I have to live with CRPS and now Complex PTSD too. I have a younger brother and his husband who I'm trying to get closer too and neither of them understand this disease and how the severe pain and traumas of almost giving up many times because of pain, severe depression, severe anxiety, etc….. My brothers husband thinks I'm overmedicated and thats why I 100% exploded and got rid of a bunch of clothes that I could probably wear again if my weight increases. I can admit now that I allowed the anger to consume me back then and in some ways I still do today. I'm in a anger group mostly about my anger related to this disease and since it's incurable and I will go through extreme pain again and I'm currently diagnosed suffering from Complex PTSD, and my doctors/counselors know my pain and fear is real, the Anger group facilitator isn't sure that the group will benefit me based on my situation. Sometimes I believe I get more help and better advice on forums than I do some counselors/doctors. Hope you find something to help you with anger that works.
 
Anger management is a good thing, but. Be mindful of how you direct it. The feelings, memories, fear, that are causing all of that anger have to go somewhere. Obviously smashing up your house isn't a good outlet, just be careful not to turn it inward. It is surprisingly easy to do.

I still struggle with my anger, probably always will. And I don't doubt a good part of my difficulty is my own stubborn refusal to accept fear. I don't want anyone to see how afraid I am. I don't want to be viewed as weak, or some object of pity. Vanity is what you could call it I suppose.

It's a lesson hard learned. Though I can tell you from when I began working on this, (admittedly I thought it was stupid) I see now how afraid I made the people around me. Even though I knew I wouldn't physically harm anyone, I didn't see how much harm I was doing just by being such a volatile person.

It has been so hard, often humiliating. But I don't regret for a moment working on this anger. The shame of being the way I used to be is too much to accept. It really does feel better.
 
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